Friday, November 16, 2007

mastery

Did you see this self-portrait I did? It's accurate to the very last detail, including the way the lower half of my legs just disappear. I have a rare medical condition known as ghost legs.



7 comments:

  1. oooh how did you get it? I want ghost legs.

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  2. babydude, I looked it up and I really don't think it's something you, or any of us, would want.

    Ghost Legs (Chinese: 畫鬼腳), known in Japan as Amidakuji (阿弥陀籤), is a method of lottery designed to create random pairings between two sets of any number of things, as long as the number of elements in each set is the same. This is often used to distribute things among people, where the number of things distributed is the same as the number of people. For instance, chores or prizes could be assigned fairly and randomly this way.

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  3. Look Joy, I appreciate you trying to cover up my secret, but I might as well come clean. I had a little too much to drink one night and wandered into a bar I'd never seen before, in a weird old part of town. It was only after I sat down and ordered a beer that I looked around and realized my mistake. All the old stereotypes were there: floating sheets with eye-holes cut out, formless blobs of blue light, an old timey bartender speaking in depression-era slang, a jukebox that played nothing but the sound of howling wind. I'd wandered into a Ghost Bar! But I figured hey, I'm an open minded guy, it's the 2000s, I'm just gonna sit here and enjoy a drink or two and watch the 1951 World Series on the old Zenith.

    Around the 5th inning a pretty young Victorian girl caught my eye. I complimented her on her luminescence and we got to talking. She was so interesting! Turns out she lept from the top of a building after her betrothed failed to return from the Battle of Manassas. I feared that I had made a major faux-pas when I joked "What is a ghost's favorite pancake topping? Boo-berries!" But she just laughed and laughed. Then she told me she didn't know what panned cakes were and I boldly invited her back to my place for some after-hours pancakery.

    Long story short, I wasn't as careful as I should have been, and the next day I woke up with Ghost Legs. I never saw her again. Or my legs.

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  4. joy,
    I know ghost legs don't really exsist but I was just trying to keep him appeased long enough for me to get to him so I could have him commited. But he is really fast once he knew I was on to him he was gone. I think its his ghost legs maybe they have super powers or something.

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  5. I wonder if those ghost legs would be good for some ghost riding in the sky?

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  6. Or maybe ghost writing in the sky?

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