Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Electric Bowling Undersea Casket Test

Want an update on the shooting? (shooting? what shooting? Scroll down, irregular reader). I called the police department to get the crime statistics for my apartment complex. The lady whose entire job is to analyze and observe crime statistics, was shocked by the results of her report. She told me to move. Apparently the upscale fowl habitat I call home is not as safe as it would appear.

I think I have a little bit of post-traumatic stress disorder too. I can't even think about laundry without having a major freakout. I decided I'm not going to do laundry at all anymore. No, I'm not going to turn into a stinking hippie, I'm just going to throw my clothes out after one or two wearings and buy new ones. This will be nice because I won't have to iron anymore.

Anyway, let's back things up a bit to the start of the Thanksgiving Weekend, Wednesday night. I got off work a couple hours early and fell into a small coma. I woke up with literally no idea of the time or who, where, or why I was. Ever happened to you? It's disconcerting. Eventually I got it together and met up with some friends out in Draper to Neil's. They're known for fish&chips but we all got hamburger sandwiches for some reason. Neil's has really good fry sauce, fyi.

Whoa! It's like being underwater!

Only one logical thing to do next. Sneak into the haunted semi-abandoned casket factory. Scott, Danny, and I headed off for adventure.

First you have to cross the tracks. The lights, the warmth of the city, fading as you cross further into the darkness.

Down a steep embankment, through the trees. Devoid of life they are.

The factory looms on the horizon.

So, I guess it's not really abandoned. Still in use, judging my these fresh sarcophagi laying about.

One structure is in quite a state of disrepair. We can't quite figure out what this sign is trying to say so we go on in.

It's pitch dark inside. Lucky for us the vampires that surely live there have gone out on their nightly hunt.


Long walk back to the car. We arrive to the Bud with our faces frozen and our spirits dampened. But that's nothing a little Wii can't fix.

Wii bowling was on tap. I got to create my own Mii. Actually I didn't. Chris insisted on doing it for me which caused a lot of controversy. I'm pretty happy with it though.

By the way, I'm not sure who currently holds the title of Wii Bowling Champion of the Bud, but it isn't me.

Then we saw the movie Hitman. An action movie based on a video game that takes itself way too seriously? Yep, it's exactly as good as you think it is. Also, if you liked the action scenes in the Matrix but wished they were performed by different actors, then this is the movie for you.


  1. Could it be some sick cosmic joke? First you visit a casket factory and then you get shot (at)?

    You think caskets are so interesting, eh, buddy? I'll show you from casket.

    From now on you should go to church dances.

  2. Church dances can be pretty scary places, too. I almost got mowed down when I was like 15 by a giant herd doing the Electric Slide. I suppose that is a different kind of scary, though.

    That final shot with the black casket? HEEBY JEEBIES. reminds me of the final shot in Blair Witch for some reason. And the white stuff dripping down the walls? Ghost blood.

  3. Pigeon crap?...

    The last shot is good, but you can't really tell how disconcertingly large that vat in the background is.

    Also, I don't think that was enough the scariest room.

    Bwa ha ha.

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