Wednesday, May 27, 2009

isn't that kinda weird?

Remember that picture of the zombie cat? Maybe Cash would like to see it.

Uh-oh. He doesn't seem as interested in it as I thought he'd be.

Luckily Erin, who lives with Cash and along with Jared co-raises him, explained the process of decomposition in very clinical way so I think overall this was a valuable experience for little Cash.

Those three invited me over for breakfast Memorial Day morning. Great breakfast and great company of course.

That paper cone has a lot of uses.

At first he was using it as a bird beak ("I saw a bird with a white beak once. Isn't that kinda weird?") but then I convinced him it was an invisible snow-cone and he thought that was pretty hilarious. Unfortunately I stole the whole "invisible ____ " schtick from lolcats. I hope he doesn't find out and think I'm a hack.

While I was cleaning eggs off our porch (we got egged!) I noticed that the neighbor's flag was dragging in the street. I said aloud "Shouldn't someone probably pick that up?" and then a breeze came along and lifted it up. Finally after all these years we have proof that God blesses America. That's a relief!

Eventually I went to fix it though.

The reason I'm posting these pictures is because well, I want to show you all that I'm just as heroic as those Iwo Jima guys.

Hey can we talk about my birthday? It was two weeks ago but we're backed up here at Microsuede HQ. I went to a Bees game and almost all my favorite people were there. I had an awesome time. Probably the best birthday in years.

This poor third basemen, Travis Metcalf, was hassled by us (mostly Scotty and Danny since their voices carry the best) all night.

The heckling got so creative that their were a few moments where Metcalf had to cover his face with his glove to keep from laughing. I'd love to repeat some of the stuff here but I just don't think it will translate. I did update his wikipedia page during the game and it's still up there. I hope he checked it like we suggested.

Scott: "Hey 23! It's called Your Butt! We all have one!"

Ack mascot attack!

Kids flock to Bumble like ducks to bread. It was madness.

Scott used Bumble as a cup holder.

Danny: "What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Metcalf is the sun!"

After the game Metcalf tipped his hat to us. He's my new favorite player.

Ah, baseball.

Elin made me a cake! Apparently in her family it's tradition to eat cake on birthdays.

That "B" is my personal logo. Terrence designed it. If I ever obtain a lordship it will be on all my banners.

We were going to watch Lost but then Elin got all stabby so the night was called.

thanks everyone!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Days of Thunder part 3: the end of the century

This. This is an atomic blast as seen from the town of Wendover, Utah. Pretty remarkable that I was able to capture it on film last weekend.

You will undoubtedly recall that the first post in this three-part entry began with a video clip of OMD's "Enola Gay." Is it starting to come together for you? Wendover, Utah was home to the airship Enola Gay, the flying fortress responsible for dropping the atomic bomb known as "Little Boy" over Hiroshima, Japan. The historical implications of this cannot be ignored. Arguably ending WWII but leading to the decades long standoff between the United States and the Soviet Union. Killing over 100,000 civilians, but perhaps preventing countless more innocent deaths. The philosophical paradoxes could tie your mind up for weeks.

Those paradoxes were on our minds as we stood and gazed upon the actual ship itself, the Enola Gay.

That guy standing in front of it is a volunteer who insists that the ship must be ready to go in the event of renewed U.S./Japanese hostilities. If you ask me he's a little paranoid, and insists that the worst day of his life was when Ichiro Suzuki broke the single-season hits record. Kind of racist really.

Parts of the airfield are still in use for the high-rollers (ha!) coming in to gamble in West Wendover, but most of it is abandoned now. Despite being all spooky and decrepit, it's actually one of the most well-preserved WWII airbases around.

This is the hanger the Enola Gay rested in while the crew trained. At one point there were over 20,000 personnel at this base.

Recognize this plane?

How about now?

It's one of three planes used in the movie Con Air. The film that gave us Nicholas Cage with a Foghorn Leghorn accent and a Michael Bolton hairdo. This plane is to cinema what the Enola Gay is to warfare.

Scott insisted that he could fly that bucket o' bolts, but I think he was lying.

I think Nathaniel is doing an impression of popular WWII graffito "Kilroy."

My favorite part of this plane is that it finally gave me a place to put all the floor plugs and d-rings I'd been carrying around all day.

I didn't stay too long in there because it was kind of starting to freak me out.

I mean, who knows what could be lurking in that darkness.

Climbed to the top of the old control tower which was a bit unnerving what with the narrow, steep stairway with the see-thru grating. But what a view!

Look how high it is! That tiny blue speck is Lisa.

Nice parking job, idiot.

The old barracks looked friendly and uninteresting.

This truck was hanging around in like Jaws waiting for its prey.

The truck was beaten and broken down. The back doors were open revealing... chips?

Someone had a truck full of chips and decided "I'm just going to park here in the middle of nowhere and let this truck rot here til the end of time." Weird! Maybe it was a heist gone wrong.

We started to get an eerie feeling from the abandoned barracks. Junk everywhere. I named this Mount Tetanus.

The grounds outside one building were strewn with baby socks and childrens' blankets. A peak in the broken window revealed a bad scene at the laundromat.

Things were getting progressively more Stephen Kingy.

As far as I can tell from my research, the base has been completely de-activated since 1969 and declared surplus in 1976. It seems like everyone just up and left, leaving everything behind. Was the base de-activated, or was there a zombie attack? A The Stand-like virus? Who leaves two perfectly good television sets behind?

Coyotes howled in the distant hills and wild dogs barked in the labyrinth of wooden buildings.

One boarded up garbage building had the sound of a television or radio coming from inside.

Do not trespass inside that car! The other one is fair game.

"Beware: Racers, Parts Thieves, and Californicators are not welcome!" I'm none of those things but I still didn't feel very welcome.

Here's a big chain. Probably to keep the planes from running away.

I'd already decided that this was the creepiest place I'd ever been (Nathaniel said second creepiest. Lee wasn't bothered at all. I don't know where Scott or Lisa rank it) when I ran into this.

Why yes, that is a dead mummified zombie cat. What the...? Why is in attack position? How did it die? Why haven't wild animals or flies or weather taken it away? Does it come alive at night?

Here's a close-up. You might find it disturbing so be warned.

That's about it for Wendover. Oh, we also saw a brigade of ghost soldiers. They didn't photograph well but they did wave to Scott.

The end.

Link: the historic wendover airfield needs your support!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Days of Thunder part 2: of flapjacks and jackpots

West Wendover, Nevada. Two hours west of Salt Lake City. Where the sullied go to sin.

The city's slogan is "Wendover Will." As in, "Utah won't let you gamble? Wendover will." "Utah won't sell you full-strength beer? Wendover will." "Salt Lake City won't make you horribly depressed? Wendover will."

Between the discount liquor outlet and the porno shop can be spied the Ferris Wheel of the Damned.

I'm being hard on Wendover, I know. But seriously it's really crappy. And I tend to like things that are really crappy! Like old motel signs. Oh here we go.

Used to hear a lot of ads for the Red Garter. I don't remember the slogan though. "Play Smarter at the Garter"? "Study Harder at the Garter"? I don't know. All I know is cuartos disponinbles esta noche (!!!).

We went looking for food at the Rainbow Hotel and Casino. OMG it's a neon paradise!

I really love the smell of casinos. I don't know if I just like the smell on it's own or if I have good associations with it. A thousand years of cigarette smoke, fancy air freshening, the vague smell of scotch and money and cheap perfume. Ahhhhhh.

We ate at the Over the Rainbow Steakhouse.

Scott: "Is this place good?"
Hostess: "Sure."
Scott "Best in Wendover?"
Hostess: *shrug*

The restaurant was dimly lit with purple neon and had, as Lisa put it, "more fake plants than a fake plant store."

Loud Guy Who Has Auditioned for the Weather Channel Three Times: "No no, it's not too big. Not too big at all. If anything, it's getting smaller!"

"But I've had the same grip on it for years.""But really, it hasn't been the same since I started sanding it regularly."

A thuggish bald security guard got mad at us for getting mud all over the place. Like he could prove anything.

Did I win any money? I don't know, why don't you ask this ten dollar bill.

next time: this stuff is about to get real.