Tuesday, March 31, 2009


- Today is Tuesday, March 31st.
- The Haunted Swamp Exploration scheduled for this week has been indefinitely postponed due to weather.
- The limited edition ponchos are now SOLD OUT.
- Thanks for all the well-wishes. Looks like I'm going to be able to keep my toe after all.
- Still no job, so my services are available on a first-come, first-served basis. Please be aware that I am not available Tuesday or Wednesday nights.
- The new design is staying, despite overwhelming votes against it. I'm counting the "don't care" votes as "yes"
- Answer to last week's brain teaser: the surgeon is a woman.
- Retraction: despite boasts to the contrary, this blog is not "your number one source for pictures of orangutans and neon signs." Oddly enough, not even in the top ten.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

new microsuede


well anyway, ponder the new layout while i take a short break. i feel like i need to focus my creative energies elsewhere for a while. in the meantime, read some old entries. turns out they're really good.

"But B.! We want to know what you did for St. Patrick's Day! And if you've seen the movie Doubt more than once!"

don't worry, answers in due time.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

i'm phoning this one in

Just like that classic Elton John album, I'm in a "new york state of mind" right now. Probably because of the amazing weekend I had in the Big Apple. I know it's a cliche, but there's something really wondrous about that first glimpse of Lady Liberty when your ship sails into New York harbor.

It's even more wondrous when you see the statue.

We were hungry so we went to an NYC themed restaurant called the Hard York Cafe. They had the actual Phantom of the Opera's mask on display.

I had some local cuisine, pizza (which they call "a slice") and a coke (which they call, "da bubbles"), but I think I made everyone uncomfortable by spending the whole time sitting in the corner scheming.

After that we went dancing at New York's hottest night club, Toast (Michelle was on the list). As this photo shows, it's impossible to take a bad picture of me.

Monday, March 16, 2009

diagetic sound

I'm going to talk about my weekend eventually but I need to wait for the pictures to be developed. In the meantime let's talk about music for a little bit. I bought some records yesterday. I've been collecting vinyl for a while now but I'm taking it slow. I don't want my collection to be diluted so I need to make sure every acquisition counts.

At one of the record stores (Randy's) I had like ten potential purchases in my hand at any given time. Finally I decided that I should only spend my limited supply of money (I don't have a job) on things I would actually listen to.

So I got Smashing Pumpkin's Siamese Dream. I wasn't that much of a fan of the band the first time around, but I'm recently going through a sort of '90s alternative renaissance and I've been listening to a lot of SP lately.

This record, it kicks my ass. If you're any sort of audiophile you've heard all the cliches about records. They're "warmer," "more organic," whatever. It's true though, there can be certain sound qualities with vinyl that CDs just don't have. Not all records have it though. I've been disappointed a few times by picking up a record that sounds exactly like the CD. But Siamese Dream, this thing just... wow. Drop that needle and it's like you're just enveloped by the sound. Completely surrounded by fuzzed out guitars. It's as close as I've been to experiencing that mythic oft-exaggerated Rock and Roll feeling in a while.

Also for some reason I felt like posting my Top 25 Most Played itunes tunes. I check the list constantly but I think for the first time in a while it's a very accurate representation of my current listening habits. I dunno. I think it's interesting. I'd be interested in seeing your Top 25 list anyway. I'm just trying to get a conversation going. That's all I want. That's all I've ever wanted.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Today is my two year blogversary. Thanks for noticing, jerks.

You're not really jerks.

Well maybe you are, but you're jerks independent of whether or not you noticed.

I didn't even remember until I saw a thing Becky wrote about her own thing.

So uh... what ya been up to?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


things that are broken:

- my camera
- my phone
- my spirit

Friday, March 6, 2009

nellie ball

No doubt you noticed that last Saturday I wasn't around. I turned my phone off and went invisible on google chat in an attempt to shrug off the digital world I have become so enmeshed in. It felt like time for me to return to nature. To completely surround myself with vast desert terrain, a place where survival is anything but guaranteed.

I called all my banners to see who would join me, and it turns out only Lee and Scott were hearty enough for this journey. Rugged men, both of them. More rugged than I, in fact. I was never any kind of boy scout at all.

I think Lee and Scott have already blogged about this, so if you're an avid blog reader you'll get three different interpretations of these events. It's up to you to decide which is true.

The day started as any adventure day should. Several hours after sunrise, and at Burger King. I've never noticed but the downtown Burger King is decorated with faded Georgia O'Keefe prints. Weird. I think some Burger King manager must have thought that it would subliminally make people think that eating at Burger King was sexy. Let's see if their subliminal efforts worked. "Whopper." Nope, didn't make me think about sex. Well, no more than usual.

Wait maybe I did that backwards. "Sex." Aha! That made me think of Whoppers. It does work.

We're getting way off track here. Off the road as it were. Here's a picture, taken from a pull off in Spanish Fork Canyon.

A lot of crazy stuff has happened in this very spot. In 1897 noted racing enthusiast Butch Cassidy stole $8000 worth of gold in this area. In 1924 a terrible mine disaster killed all sorts of people. Here's part of the monument to those that gave their lives to the coal.

It's a weird memorial. I cropped out the part sculpture with the screaming, half buried miners. Seriously. It was a little too disturbing.

Bandits? Explosions? Yeah. And this spot still isn't without danger, unless you don't think bottomless pits are dangerous.

We went to gather some coal and half the world disintegrated.

I got myself a chunk of coal, which will come in handy if I need to warm myself during the upcoming great depression.

I wouldn't settle for just any piece of coal. I climbed up there to get it.

We stopped in the town of Helper. I've written about that place before. It's an odd place, because it feels like a ghost town but it's full of people. People in trucks.

The famous Helper Greeny Torch Lady statue. Did you know that there's almost an exact replica of this in New York City.

If you stay at this motel, you'll probably be murdered. That was the impression I got anyway. Also it's name is The Murder Motel.

The goal of this adventure was to drive through Nine Mile Canyon. How long is it?

78 miles. For real. Here's some trivia: why it called Nine Mile Canyon if it's more than nine miles? Nobody knows.

It was going to be a long time before we reconnected with civilization. In case of the worst I was prepared with a spare tire, a few gallons of water, and a case of these:

In a land of amazing rock formations (Utah), Nine Mile Canyon doesn't get a lot of play, but it's not without its own wonderments.

Well hello. Someone hung a dead fox up in front of a Jackson Pollack painting.

Yeah, we were on a dirt road, several miles away from the middle of the nowhere, the air painfully silent, with no other people around. Spooky.

Also spooky, this ranch. No sign of people, and it seems that the cows have taken over. It was like Night of the Living Dead, but with cows.

Amongst the dead trees and dead foxes and dry beds of long dead rivers, we found a dead settlement.

There's something so disquieting about the remains of a house in the wilderness. Someone decided to just up and leave, and no one really cared.

But let us celebrate the living. Like these two hombres who totally conquered that there ridge.

Huh. Scott has a skull on his hoodie. I guess that means we should talk about the dead again. Like the long-vanished Fremont people, who vandalized everything within reach.

Nine Mile Canyon has the largest collection of Indian rock art in the world. A lot of the petroglyphs are over a thousand years old. Wild. Too bad they weren't better artists. What are those supposed to be even? Cows? Goats?


I wondered why a People would choose to live in the middle of nowhere, then realized I was stupid because since they were they were the only people around, wherever they lived was in fact the middle of where. And I can see why this would be a good place. Lots of natural bowls and shelters formed by the sandstone.

This was the most stunning sight in a trip full of stunning sights. The picture doesn't adequately capture it. You round a corner and then whoa! this huge stone amphitheatre is standing before you. Anyway. Check it out yourself. You can find it on mile 62, or hour five.

Scott (geologist) spent most of the time with his head out the window. I was trying to figure out who he reminded me of in this picture and finally it hit me. Ulysses Everett McGill from O Brother Where Art Thou.

Six hours of bad road later we emerged into the "town" of Myton (rhymes with Bryton). This is oil country.

A lot of option after this. We could have driven over to Skinwalker Ranch, headed to Roosevelt to visit Suzanne and Jed, or stopped for a quaint meal in a quaint place. But I was so eager to get back home I didn't even entertain those ideas. I don't think anyone else minded. It took us another two and a half hours to get home, making this the most brutal, endurance-challenging adventure day yet. Not that that's a bad thing.

See you next time.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

where have you gone, sally jupiter

It's windy outside and tomorrow is garbage day. I was just out and every garbage can in the city is tipped over. Who's gonna clean all this up? I will if I have to, but I'd prefer to not. Also I'm pretty sure I just saw a drunken Neil Young stumbling down the street.

I have a lot of pictures to post from Saturday. It was another Adventure Day, this time through... well I won't spoil it. I'll write about it later. I just don't have the energy right now. If you're a blogger, you understand.

What else though. I've been doing a lot of watching of stuff lately. Movies mostly. I watched Fight Club again on Friday. I twittered all about it, you may have noticed. I still like it. I don't necessarily agree with the philosophy behind it and I hope no one ever hits me, but I really enjoy that movie.

Watchmen! Pretty great. It's not perfect by any means and I do have some quibbles, but this is clearly the best possible movie that can be made from that source material. In fact now that the movie has had a chance to settle in, I think I enjoy it more now than I did right after I saw it (a few hours ago). It was an advance screening and it was a real who's who of the Salt Lake comic scene. Jeff Vice, Greg, Jimmy, Lucas, uh... Red Beard Headphones Guy, Big Forehead Guy, Always Looking for Back Issues of Deadpool Guy... yeah, the cream of the crop.

Would you believe I've never seen any Spike Lee Joint before? I watched Do the Right Thing this weekend with the Netflix instant watch dealio, which I didn't even know existed. I really like how stylized it was. A film doesn't have to be realistic to still be realistic, you know? I know it didn't win any Oscars but I figured it must have at least been nominated for Best Picture. Nope. Just goes to show. The Oscars are dumb. When was the last time anybody even heard of Driving Miss Daisy? According to the Oscars that was the best movie of 1989, and yet Do the Right Thing endures as one of the greatest American films of all time. Also, our current President took his Michelle to see it on their first date. So take that!

Speaking of the Oscars, winners always say "thank you" when they get their award. But shouldn't they be saying "you're welcome"? Don't you give people awards as a way of saying thank you to them? Thank you for your great sound editing, here's some gold.

Whatever. You don't come here to read about movies. You come here for grainy photos of hot babes. (that phrase will get me some google hits). Sunday I saw some performances by this performance collective/band. I think they're called The Women? The Lovers? We are Devo? Something like that. I'm not sure. None of them introduced themselves before playing. Which I think is rude. Nevertheless, they were all very talented and I'll be following their careers closely. Uncomfortably closely.

The one on the left is Hallie, who I think is a secret Friend of Microsuede? She's listed as a follower, I know that much. Hallie, if you're out there stop in and say hello.

Monday, March 2, 2009

blogging is hard.

working on a new entry right now but i'm gonna go see watchmen instead so maybe tomorrow.