Monday, June 11, 2007

A Weekend in the City

Hello Suede-heads! I just had one of the best weekends in recent memory. In fact, easily the best weekend all year that didn't involve me leaving town. Why? My dear friend Joy was in town. She lives a million miles away in a harsh desert climate, and took a break from fighting off Jawas and Sand People to come visit the peeps in SLC. Joy and I communicate daily but we never get to see each other so throughout the weekend there was much awesomeness to be had.

Here we go.


  • After work, Joy came over and we went to the Cafe Rio, a Utah-based burrito dealer. Rio is a staple of the local scene and since Joy has never tried it we had to go, if for no other reason than for her to see what all the fuss is about.
  • I gave her a tour of the old neighborhood, which was easy since for the most part my entire life has taken place in an area about three square miles in size.
  • Stopped at my mom's house and chatted with my cat for a bit.
  • Back to my place, where I drew the shades and made her watch my complete ouvre of short films. Then I made her write an analytical paper about each one.
  • In retrospect, I might not be a very good host after all. Sorry about that, Joy.


  • An early start. 9am Breakfast at Ruth's Diner with Joy and some of my oldest colleagues, Joey, Barlow, and Cherie. (Barlow isn't his real name but I already called him that in an earlier blog entry to for the sake of continuity I'll stick with it).
  • Ruth's is another local landmark, an old trolley car that now sits nestled among the beautiful green trees of Emigration Canyon. Good breakfast spot, known for some mighty fine biscuits.
  • Retreat to Barlow and Cherie's backyard, where in an act of unmitigated gall I sit in the sun for more than seven minutes. I'm still severely burned. Thank goodness for the internet, keeping me out of the sun like it does.
  • Kids Say the Darndest Things part I - Joey's young son to Barlow during a discussion of religion/philosophy: "Um, you're being boring."
  • Kids Say the Darndest Things part II - the youngster to Joy: "Could you quit talking so fast?"
  • Kids Say the Darndest Things part III - same kid, pointing at me: "Is that a boy or a girl?"
  • To be fair, I was wearing my Ziggy Stardust get-up.
  • Lunch at Snider Bros. Meats. Not exactly a local landmark, but I used to go there a lot during High School. A few years ago they had a horribly embarrassing commercial where the staff held up deli trays and sang "We Got the Meat" to the tune of the Go-Go's "We Got the Beat." Yeah.
  • Went to Target, but seriously you can't possibly be interested in that.
  • BBQ party in the backyard. The same backyard that burned me earlier.
  • For most of the party I was busy making my now famous B-Burgers, but Em provided me with a steady supply of beer-flavored drink so it was all good.
  • This party was attended by most of Salt Lake's social Elite, so it ended up being a great time.
  • Also I was trying to be cool but bonked my noggin something fierce. Luckily, I don't think anyone even noticed.
  • Went to bed at 5am.


  • Slept most of the damn day.
  • Lunch at a place whose name rhymes with Chilis.
  • Ironing

  • Went to a wedding reception in a nice park. Met some Swedes.
  • After a little bit of tomfoolery a gang of us decided to attend the 1:30am showing of Ocean's 13 at the drive-in. When we got there the gates were closed and there was no one around to sell us tickets. I'm not saying this did or didn't happen, but maybe we just hopped the gate and walked right in. Then maybe one of us drove his (or her) car in through the narrow exit lane. Maybe if I saw the movie I'd say it was pretty good.
  • Went to bed at 5am


  • Found out that my favorite currently working band, The New Pornographers, are coming to Salt Lake on their upcoming tour. This is great because so many of my favorite bands have passed us by this year. Even better, they're playing at The Depot which is the nicest venue in town, and the show is ages 21+ so I won't have to deal with any punk-ass teenagers. I hate punk-ass teenagers.
  • Joy and I said our goodbyes. It was sad, but alas, such is the wheel of life. Sigh.
  • Mowed someone's lawn.
  • Watched the finale of The Sopranos. Not a particularly great episode, but a good way to end the series I think. I really liked the controversial last scene, but maybe because it was set to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing."
  • That's one of the five songs I always want to hear when I've been drinking. I've mentioned another one, do you remember what it is?

  • Don't get me wrong, "DSB" is one of the best songs there is. It's not like I only want to hear it when drunk, it's just that... ah nevermind.

  • Ended the weekend with a 2am breakfast from Del Taco. Here's how much I like the Del Taco breakfast: one time I found a fingernail in my breakfast burrito, and yet I still continue to go there. If you know me at all, you know that I am super quesy about that sort of thing.

  • In the Del Taco strip mall I noticed a soon-to-be-opening establishment called Emerald City Smoothies. Opening a smoothie shop in this town takes a lot of chutzpah as Jamba Juice has a stranglehold on the local smoothie scene. I tip my hat to Emerald City Smoothies, and I give them three months.

That's it. In conclusion, Macbook pictures of me and Joy.

A bat flew into my apartment and frightened us both.

Then we stared into the computer to try to figure out how the internet works.



  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I had a fingernail in Thai food once. I could not eat ANY Thai food for months. You must really love Del Taco.

    Sorry, I'm like graffiting all over your blog.

  3. Shiz... racking my brain to come up with the other song you like to listen to while drinking ...

    Pretty much the best weekend ever, it was. Maybe the weekend I got married was better. And the one where I had a baby. But other than that ...

    Also, I think you were a bit harsh giving me a "C" on my paper about the neon signs movie. "Overuse of hyperbole?" WTF? It really WAS the best film about neon signs I'd totally ever seen. Geez.

  4. Regarding those pictures of you and Joy...It was so easy to tell which one of you was the boy and which one of you rhymes with boy, and was in fact, a girl.

    Nice to see and hear you both were so joyous (sorry, couldn't resist) over your weekend. Bright and Joyful, does it get any better than that? Isn't that all anybody wants from life, really?



    now you have to give me one of your phones.

  6. Hey Shawn! Thanks for commenting. I still can't even think about an Italian sandwich thanks to an incident that happened two years ago.

    Joy, sorry about the "C," but I don't believe in grading on the curve. Kidding. I'm glad you liked the neon movie. That film really means a lot to me so I'm so happy you liked it.

    Anonymous II, you're not getting jack because I don't know who you are. If I didn't know any better I'd think you were my own brother. Michael. My own selfish brother. Michael.

  7. Once there was an eyelash in my McDonalds scrambled eggs. At least, I hope it was an eyelash. I guess it could have just as easily been a nose hair.

  8. I found a fly in a Wendy's salad. but those are very fresh salads so yes, i eat them still.

    Mom knew Ruth. The actual Ruth of Ruth's diner. She grew up just around the hill from that cafe and shared a party line with her. Mom says she always wore a sundress, even in winter and always had a cigarette and always swore at my mom to get off the damn phone.

  9. Wow, sounds like Ruth lived up to her reputation.

    Hey dudes, I know I started it but we can stop talking about finding stuff in food now? k thx

  10. Don't even get me started about Wendy's. Out of respect for Bryton I'll stop right there. But, hey, how about that Paradise Bakery downtown? You know, the one with the rodent paper in the rest room and the little furry things scurrying unsuspectingly under the patrons' feet? I had to rat them out somehow since I meant to call the Board of Health, but never got around to it. Remember those teeny, tiny wiggly things in the Reeses PB cup?
    The best way to avoid all these dangers is just to not eat at all.

  11. Did you ever stop and think that the New Pornographers are coming to SL simply because you asked them to?

    Betcha thats why.

  12. For those that don't know what she's talking about, Emily and I totally hung out with the New Pornographers at an airport.

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