Sunday, June 3, 2007

If you're drinking then I know we'll be good friends and I'll say...

Hello Suede-Heads! (that's what readers of this blog will now be called). This is a friendly experiment in intoxicated blogging. Get it while it's hot because I might delete it in the morning.

Just to clear up, I am not some sort of drunk. Sure, I like a steak and a beer, or a burger and a beer, or maybe just a beer and some crackerss after work to chill out while I listen to the music of Air or Aimee Mann, but it's a rare occasion that I get "plastered" (to use the parlance of our times). For one thing, I don't care to drink and drive at all, and finding a designated driver can be difficult, and why would I want to go to a bar if not to drink much? For another thing, I can't think of another thing. Anyway, tonight one thing led to another and one of my homeboys who I don't think even knows about this blog so I won't say his name, mentioned that he like bar-hopping even tough he doesn't really drink. So I was like "Dude, maybe we should go bar-hopping tonight." and so we did. It was either that or watch Better Off Dead, which I haven't seen since I was but a youth. More on that later when I do my Monday weekend report.

We went to the Leprechaun Inn, which is nye on three minutes from my home. Also its in a K-Mart parkig lot, which is weird. I bet my brother hangs out there a lot becase he has a big tattoo of a leprechaun and a bowling pin on his left arm, so it's only natural that he hangs out at the 'Chaun. He wasn't there tonight though, probably because he needs to work in the morning at the Starbucks (remind me to tell him that I need some more coffee beans because I'm almost out).

Anywya, I just returned from the Leprechaun I drank a beer or many and also a shot of gin which is never a good idea for me but when you're drinking you're judgement is impaired and you think that maybe a shot of gin is a good idea but seriously, it never is. Blegh. Leprechain is cool, pretty chill. Whatever that means. "Chill" is kind of a generic word to describe alcohol establishments. I think the more "chill" a place is the less likely you are to run into anyone wearing a shiny shirt. Not chill = lots of shiny shirts.

Right now I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself. If you think that's a Star Wars reference you're wrong. I'm too cool to be a Star Wars geek. See?

Sunglasses = Cool

By the way, I just want to point out that it's okay for me to drink because I am not a member of the LDS faith. I am in fact Pretend Catholic. For more information on Pretend Catholicism please see my unpublished and unfinished novel, Document #1.

At the bar they were showing some Women's college softball and it was pretty awesome. I love baseball, but softball played by attractive young ladies with crazy-fast underhand pitching? Well sign me up, monsignor. I just bought season tickets to the Lady Utes Softball Team, which may have been a bad idea since the season ended three days ago. Maybe I should log off the internet because I'm about to buy some custom made Chuck Taylor's and daddy really doesn't need a new pair of shoes.

"California Love" just came up on iTunes shuffle which is great becaue that's on my list of five Songs I alway want to hear while inebriated. That's another post for another time, however.

Problem! I am hungry. Hungry like Starving. If you should happen to know me in real life, and should happen to read this before 3am mst, please bring me some MacNuggets. You will be rewarded with a crisp $10 bill.

Nevermind, I'm just going to go to sleep.

But call me if you have MacNuggets.


I like BBQ sauce for dippin'.

But I'll take honey mustard too.


  1. "Suede-heads", you say? I think I've got your theme song for you - a little number by Morrissey.

    (I'm always proselyting for the Church of Moz.)

  2. You totally bought the Chucks, huh?

  3. oh man. Please don't delete this. It is priceless. I even read it with a slurred accent in my head.

  4. When I was a girl, many moons ago, suede-heads were skin-heads who had let their hair grow back a little bit. T'was very soft, the suede-head.