Then I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy a new pillow. I haven't had a good night's sleep in over two years and I'm blaming my pillows. Now, it may surprise you to learn that I have lived 27 years, yet this is the first time I have ever bought a pillow myself. I was surprised by how expensive they are, but maybe I'm just naive to the ways of the pillow. I mean, they did have some cheap ones but this is an area in which I need quality. I bought a nice foamy number, which was a gamble because they wouldn't let me try it out in the store. I said "I'll set my alarm, it'll be twenty minutes tops," but they weren't into that.
FYI, BB&B is full of frightening people. Like young engaged couples and overtanned housewives.
Next stop Albertson's for my weekly supply of foodstuffs. I was trying to decide of I should buy a bucket of Mozzarella discs (I did) when some guy walked buy and said to his friend: "She can take that f******** chicken and shove it up her f******* [jacksy]!"
I really want to know the context of that quote. There was no one at the Deli, so I don't think he got into an argument over chicken with a store employee. I'd also like to know if he was talking about chicken the food or chicken the animal. If it was chicken the animal that's gotta be a violation of several local statutes.
Then at check-out the bagger was really giving me a hard sell about buying some Tostitos. I was buying Garden of Eatin' brand Chile and Lime tortilla chips and the guy was criticizing them. "Why are you buying these fake chips when you could have Tostitos?" Dude, just put my stuff in the bag, don't judge it. Furthermore, my chips are better than any Tostito you could ever eat.
The good news is that while at the store a pretty girl smiled at me. I'm going to count that as "getting some action." I don't blame her, I was wearing my studly Going to the Store outfit (see below).
Oh, my new pillow worked out very nicely by the way.