More Adventurous

What's more exciting than a Los Lobos concert? Eleven times more fun than watching Hockey? Way way way better than working? Why, the Zoo of course.

These pictures are from my last visit to the Zoo back in aught-four. A pleasant Fall day it was.

The first thing I do when I get there is obtain some chow, as I have a powerful hunger.




This is horrible. Worst food I've ever tasted. Know this: in the past I have eaten and enjoyed gas station food. I'm no corn dog snob, but this this is terrible. You hear that, Beastro?



Sorry to be so negative. Perhaps you'll be pleased to know that Dippin' Dots are still the ice cream of the future, and have been for ten years running. Someday their time will come and they'll be the ice cream of the present.



The thing I like about the Zoo is that you get to spend some quality time with monkeys. Monkeys always make me happy.

Here we have the rare South American Blurry Capuchin. He's bummed out so he's smoking a J.

What is this? A monkey? A skunk? A cat-horse? Yep, it's a cat-horse.

I like this Spider-Monkey.

Sometimes at the Zoo you see the singer from the popular rock n' roll act The Used. He's a petite lil' guy.

Check it out, these rocks look just like elephants.

I have an interesting conversation with this ring-tailed lemur.

Lemur: "Yessss, go ahead and take your picture. But I ask you this. Which one of us is really the prisoner? Me, living life just as nature intended? Or you, with your internet and your cell phone and your gas guzzling SUV and your digital this and electronic that. Yes my naive friend, which one of us is the true prisoner?

B: "You. You're clearly the one behind bars."

Lemur: "Fine. Can you get me some cigarettes and bars of soap?"

The Chacoan Peccary. Helluva critter.

This guy is just minding his own business when John Locke shows up and starts throwing knives at him. I told Locke to cut it out and he said "If you give to the zoo, it will give back." Then he kicked my ass at backgammon.

Speaking of knife throwing, here we have the Museum of Human Stupidity.

I'd have thought there would be more to the museum than just this. Global Warming?Watergate? The OJ Trial? Nope. Apparently throwing things into cages is the be-all end-all of human stupidity.

A bear. You can go ahead and cancel your trip to Yellowstone.

Zebras are magnificent creatures. So stripy.

Penguins during cocktail hour. Lately Emperor Penguins have been getting all the publicity, but this rag-tag group of scrappy misfits will show them. They've got something you can't learn in school: heart.

A panda. "A panda you say?" Yes, a red panda. This is the communist version of the panda.

Did you know that a Panda is not actually a bear, but a legume?

The Big Cat exhibit is a huge disappointment.

Luckily the Frankenstein Exhibit is everything I was hoping for and then some.







Say what you will about Hippos, but they sure know how to defecate.







Kangaroos frighten me. They're like giant rats that hop and box.

I don't trust this owl. He's planning something.

A meercat of the non-singing variety.

A baby giraffe.

When I was a kid I fell into the giraffe area and a giraffe charged me. I was rescued at the last minute by Indiana Jones. At least that's how I remember it.

"No way B, you gotta erase that picture. My tongue was totally hanging out. Here, take another one, I'll smile this time."

They still don't allow camping on Zoo grounds. This is a Primate Observation Center. I'm guessing this tent is filled with a group of dedicated scientists working round the clock, sticking their head out every once in a while to observe the primates.

Lest you think that this is all fun and games, know that any trip to the zoo is fraught with peril.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from this monstrous turkey.

Guess that's the end.