Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I must voice my displeasure

When I awoke this morning I noticed that my teeth were involuntarily chattering. It's March 28, and but a week ago I was wearing sunglasses and cabana wear so I could only assume that during the night I had picked up some sort of brain disease. I flipped on the heat (note to self: did you turn it off before going to work? hope so) and parted the curtains and to my horror I saw this!

That's my neighbor, uh...Larry.

The plummeting temperatures outside were compounded by the fact that all night I had a fan blowing right in my face. Why? The damn neighbors. I don't know if it was the people that live above me or on the other side of the wall from me, but someone has having a very loud argument or political discussion or whatever. This was at 2:30 in the morning so I turned on the fan to drown out the noise.

The man had a high, whiny, out-of-breath voice and the woman sounded like a squeegie against a mirror (note to self: don't forget to windex the tv tonight). I couldn't make out any of the words so I didn't even get the pleasure of eavesdropping. One thing I could hear loud and clear was this horrible gagging cough that I think was coming from the upstairs neighbor. I don't know what my logic was (it was 2:30am) but I was very worried that somehow vomit would get on me or my stuff. I don't need that.

I decided to wear a white shirt today so as to better blend in with the snow (makes me a more difficult target for snipers). I tell you this because it leads into what has apparently become a recurring feature on this blog:

What I'm wearing today, and what "character" I look like.

So today I'm wearing a white dress shirt (do you call these Oxfords? what is an Oxford?) and it's a couple sizes small because I hate it when my shirts are all puffy. I've got the sleeves rolled up to my elbows for ease of movement. I caught myself in the bathroom mirror and it turns out that my burnsides are particularly robust today, giving me the appearance of an Irish farmer. An Irish farmer that just sat down for dinner (probably corned cabbage and potato cakes) but then there was some kind of farm emergency so had to go back out to the farm and do some farm work.

So that's what I look today. I must not be the only one that thinks I look like a gentleman farmer because one of my co-workers just walked up and handed me a pansy. She had as whole thing of pansies for some reason. I told her I had no lawn nor garden that the flower could call home, but she got all defensive and said "Well then put it in a pot!"

I bet you're glad you read this.


  1. two words for weather like this...


    and a parka

  2. WAZZAM!

  3. how do the little men deliver pizza in that kind of weather? id surely die.