Friday, March 23, 2007

all you can eat

"King Leonidis, my heart is full of hate but my belly is empty."

You are a good captain. Assemble the men, I've a speech to make.



We dine!

At Sizzler!

We all know that Spartan women lust for fried prawns as much as Spartan men, so you'll be happy to know that Sizzler has all you can eat shrimp for $9.99!

"$9.99? This is madness!"

Madness? Madness? THIS! IS! DELICIOUS!

"My king, I want to join you. May I have a steak?"

You? You wish to have a steak with the Spartans? Can you lift a steak knife slightly above your waist?

"Uh, yeah. Really not a problem."

Then you are one of us! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!

Remember this day! This day will be yours for all time. On this day 300 men stood against few. 300 men enjoyed all you can eat shrimp and soft-serve ice cream.

"Hey, King? What if there isn't enough room at the Sizzler for all 300 of us?"

Then we will dine in the shade.

"How do you figure?"

I mean, we'll dine outside. Maybe at Sugarhouse Park. It's a nice day after all.

"Isn't the ' the shade' supposed to be my line?"

I am your king! Kneel before me!

"Kneel? But not kneeling is like, our whole deal."

I know! That was a test.


Let's go!

Get some chow!

Then afterward let's go to the mall and mess with people. You know, block their way and stuff.


  1. Is this your way of inviting us to join you for dinner tonight?

  2. You have a long and lucrative career waiting for you in advertising. Have you taken this to Sizzler?

  3. Juder, I'm not sure if you're Spartan enough for Sizzler.

    Plus last time we went it was kind of gross.

    Thanks Chester, I keep calling the Sizzler Corporation and leaving voicemails where I scream "This! Is! Delicious!" over and over but so far they haven't responded.

  4. "Kneel? But not kneeling is like, our whole deal." Seriously, how can Mr. Sizzler sleep at night knowing what his ads COULD be?