Wednesday, September 19, 2007

National Why Don't You Just Talk Normal Day

Today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day. I'm probably going to ruffle some (parrot) feathers with this post, but I think NTLPD is stupid.

You can only go so far with the "Yarrrrrs" and the "Arrrrrrghs." Kind of like "yo mama" jokes. Those things can get out of control pretty fast.

"Hey, do you know what time it is?"
"Yer mama knows what time it is."

I had to leave my old job because the Yo Mama jokes got out of hand.

That gives me an idea... I'm going to start making Yo Yo Ma jokes and see how far that takes me in the world.

"Yo Yo Ma is so talented, that when he plays the cello people stand and applaud!"

Needs some work.

Also I swear I just thought of that joke, but I'm sure someone else has thought of the same thing, somewhere.

Back to Pirates. Thing is, I love Old Timey things. I love sea shanties and old lanterns and rickety ships with ladies carved onto the bow and that made-for-tv adaptation of Moby Dick that came out a few years ago and all that. I looooooove Pirates of the Caribbean (the ride, not the movies so much) and I even went to the Pirate Museum in Key West and saw Blackbeard's dinner plate. So though I am an NTLPD hater, I'm clearly no pirate hater. I don't know what it is that gets my goat so much. Is it because I hate puns? Is it because I feel a propriety sense over all things pirate, and that because I was a pirate for Halloween at age six and perfected the pirate voice way back in the mid-'90s that I feel bitterness toward all these Johnny Come Lately Pirateers? Maybe I just don't think it's funny?

I think Pirates are on their way out anyway. Pirates were the new Ninjas, but I think by this time next year Zombies will be the new Pirates. Keep your eyes open. The signs are there.

After that, who knows?


  1. after the zombies will come the hedgehogs.

    it's true.

    be afraid. they're very pointy.

  2. We share similar feelings about this day. I admire the Yo Yo Ma joke...but it doesn't quite have the flexibility of Yo Mama...and I'm sorry for forcing you away because of my Yo Mama jokes.

    My bad.

  3. I'm pretty sure I don't read this often enough.

  4. YES!

    I think it's kind of like when someone who isn't funny does an lolcat. It's like a whole day of people who aren't good at being pirates try to be pirates and they don't go away.