Wednesday, July 16, 2008

"bad dates," warned sallah, gesturing to the dead monkey

You know what I never talk about on this blog? Dating. Maybe it's because my chief rival Yahoo already has the topic covered so well. Take fer instance this recent Yahoo article, "Sure Signs of a Great Date."

"5: Your first date is coming to an end, and you go to give her a sweet hug; and
instead, she gives you a full-on smooch. That sign is unmistakable."

I read that and smacked my own forehead in embarrassment. B, you idiot! There are so many girls, probably dozens, that I never called back after that surprising first date smooch. How many malts have I had to drink alone thanks to my lack of perception? So frustrating. Clearly I'm not qualified to talk about dating or relationships at all.


  1. I heard that if she plays with her hair she's probly keen.

  2. Is this post a subliminally foreshadowing lead-in to a near-future post about the heralded return of the best show of all times, The Pick Up Artist??

    ohpleaseohpleaseohplease say yes

  3. I have much more experience with number 6:

    6: Your first date is coming to an end, and you go to give her a sweet hug; and she does hug you, but she stands as far away from you as possible. Especially keeping her lower torso at a distance.

    Then she doesn't ever return your calls and everytime you do talk to her she says she's going to be out of town for a while.

    I hate number 6!

    But yeah, number 5... That one's unmistakable.

  4. Number 6 is what happened with my prom date, after she spent all night not dancing with me. It was that night I decided to never attend any social dancing scene ever again.

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