Monday, December 29, 2008

common side effects include drowsiness and mime hallucinations

You wouldn't think it would be that hard to recap very recent events in one's own life. Yet I find myself frozen at the keyboard, unable to summarize the events of Christmas week. I was hoping that by diving on in I'd find my groove, but I just spent about an hour between typing "... Christmas week." and "I was hoping..."

Well whatever.

Tuesday night. Tuesday had that "last day of school" feeling. I guess that Christmas Break excitement that you pick up in grade school never really leaves. After work I went to one of my downtown safehouses to watch the Jazz lose badly in a game that wasn't interesting to watch. But the night still had a happy ending when we found ourselves with a huge bag of balloon animal balloons. The reasons for this are too complicated and dull to get into, but balloon animals is the shit, yo. Check out this one:

Yeah Terrence made that one. Here's one of mine:

To be fair, he had the instruction book and I did not. Plus, did anyone really expect me to be good at balloon animals? Have you ever seen me try to wrap a present or write my own name?

Christmas Eve Morn I got up like way early and went to breakfast with some of the crew. I was satisfied with my breakfast, but I feel like it could have been more exotic. There was also some controversy over fresh fruit, but maybe that busker TR can explain that.

I zipped around to do some last minute Christmas shopping and it wasn't bad at all. I expected less parking spaces and more sharp elbows to the ribs. One thing I didn't expect at all was this:

I don't often see Native American Mimes dancing and miming on a street corner in front of the dollar theaters. What was she doing there? My comic book- I mean, drug dealer Greg said "maybe she's protesting against Indians that talk too much." That's a good explanation. More likely though, I think she was just embracing the indie-film idea of making the world more magical or something like that. Normally I would scoff at such an idea but hey, it got me talking. Godspeed, girl.

I classed it up for our family Christmas party. I tied a Windsor knot in my necktie for the first time. Usually I just go with the four-in-hand which is strange because I like symmetry. There aren't any pictures of Handsome B but here's Mikey keepin' it cool.

There was a really awesome cheese log and cracker platter but you'll have to imagine it because the picture I took was grotesque.

Gordon is not gonna put up with any bullshit.

Christmas Morning. Awwww look at the cat she thinks she's presents!

Mikey wanted an iPhone but I couldn't afford that so I just made one for him.

I asked him to take pictures of the family and stuff but instead he took about fifty pictures exactly like this.

I got some fun stuff. Like this, Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart" on vinyl. That's one of the best songs there is.

The problem is there are three different versions. This has the March 1980 version, but I like the January 1980 version much better. I didn't know that it would be the lesser (in my opinion) version on this record. But it's got a cool cover and it's on green vinyl and there are secret messages written on the inner groove so that's cool.

I also got a bitchin' coffee table book about the history of Marvel Comics. It yielded this discovery:

That night I went to see the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. A massive ice storm hit right as I left the house and I was worried that I'd have to spend the night inside of a taun-taun. From what I understand, they smell bad.

I really hated this movie. Hated it! If you want me to be more specific as to why, we can have that conversation. Also from now on I'm boycotting the Gateway Theaters. They're dirty. The crowd is bad. They have assigned seating, which on the surface sounds like a good idea but it's actually not. And the aisles are so narrow that it is impossible to walk past seated people unless you're as nimble as a giraffe.

I mean, the whole framing story with the Hurricane was completely unnecessary, and the tone and style were inconsistent throughout, and the "gimmick" was never really addressed and I'm not even sure ... forget it.

But hey! It's time for one of my patented and hilarious movie review lolcats!

Snow continued throughout the weekend. I had to take a pack of sled dogs to work on Friday. This gives you an idea of how much snow fell in a 24 minute period.

Driving home was a little slippery.

I'm done talking about this.


  1. I'd really like to know more about that coffee table book.

  2. the best part about the fruit debacle was when she said they didn't have any fresh fruit because the jar went bad. fresh fruit/jar. say wha?

  3. also, i don't often get to use "debacle," so thank you TR

  4. Benjamin Button's Curious Case looks really really really stupid. A guy is born old. Come on. Wasn't Robin Williams or Martin Short in this movie back in the early 90s?

    I hate assigned theater seating, loathe it even, but I love the Gateways. It isn't as busy or as dirty and crappy as Century 16.

    'bombaced' is the word I am supposed to type in to get this comment approved.

  5. Hey grumpy Gordon -- I still luv you!

  6. After you told me about the mime that day, I hurried and went there. But I was too late. I had missed her.

    I was so sad, I felt like my heart was trapped inside an invisible box.

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