Saturday, May 3, 2008

nope

"B! What about last weekend? You vaguely alluded to it being disastrous?"

Well, kinda. I've been moving see? Planning this since last December but only kicking into high gear last weekend. After three glorious years, saying goodbye to good ol' 4C.


Friday night the fellas came over to help me with the heavy stuff. I got good fellas. Before we began moving I had something very important to do.

I had to make peace with the Goose. Like every other fowl I've ever met, she loves bread.

The Gander always hangs out down on the ground, but he's ready to strike if he needs to. It's kind of neat how protective he is.

I had plenty of bread left so I started tossing it off the balcony to the ducks below. I tried to feed the goose too. I'd throw a piece of bread right in front of him, but before he could pick it up a duck would come running from out of nowhere and snatch it away. Then the goose would look up at my like "Uh, dude?" This happened three or four times before he finally got his bread. I've complained about these geese from day one, but it just goes to show: we've all got our struggles in life.


Disaster! I've brought in special guest illustrator Scott to dramatize the following events. You can and should read his blog here. Also tell him he needs to update more often.

So yeah, moving. Chris and I each parked along the curb, being as how we had heavy objects to move. I park there all the time for loading and unloading.
Wait, what's that rumbling engine sound? Who are these guys?
Tow Truck People. Great.
Towed! The both of us! Well shit. I tried to be That Guy and was like "Well, who's in charge of this? Let me talk to them! Where's your search warrant?" Chris kept a more level head and was more like "Hey, come on."

So the deal is, they can take your car away and you can get it Monday for $238.
... or, you can give them $80 right now (per car) and they'll pretend this never happened. Cash only though. Who has that kind of cash in their pocket? The Tow Truck People were being hard cases. "You have ten minutes to come up with the money or else we're out of here. So you better hurry up. You have four minutes left." Since I was being That Guy I asked to see the stopwatch, but they didn't have one.

I frantically called Danny and Scott, who were already on the way, asking them to hit an ATM. Danny didn't know his PIN, and Scott's card wouldn't work. Finally we convinced them to unhook Chris's car and let him go get the money, which is what they should have done in the first place to save us all time.
Meanwhile I'm stuck there with these folks trying to stifle my rage.
Small talk ensued.
The deadline was fast approaching, but Chris got back just in time.
and all was well.
What else happened that night to make it a disaster? Well I got a nosebleed and a pop can exploded. Can you believe that rotten luck? Can my life get any worse? Yes it can! Saturday night I got some well earned McNuggets, but they forgot the sauce so I had to eat them dry. Why am I even alive?

More moving.

Sunday night I went to a thing at the place. It was nice.




I had to take the day off from work Tuesday to finish moving. I really would have rather been working.

I tried to convince that idiot Mikey to help but he wouldn't.

B: "Just help me get this stuff out of the way."

Mikey: "I'm tired, I just got home from work."

B: "You don't have a job."

Mikey: "Yeah I do."

B: "What is it then?"

Mikey: "Bowling."

B: "That's not a job."

Mikey: "Well I don't enjoy it."


He finally showed up to help, and thank goodness. I never would have finished without him.

In case you were wondering, moving sucks. Especially if you're like me and have never thrown anything away.


Three years in 4C and all I have to show is a drawer full of bottlecaps, three cereal prizes, and a packet of Arby's Sauce.


This remote belongs to a 13 inch tv I got when I was 12. To this day it remains the best remote I've ever had.

When I locked the door for the last time and went back to my car a big sideways hail storm started. Seems fitting, somehow. I don't think you can tell from this picture but there was a lot of hail.


Adios, 4C. Happy trails, Goose.

9 comments:

  1. Hey yeah, I was wondering about that too.

    The visuals were amazing.

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  2. Hey, if you need more help moving, feel free to call me up. If I'm not working, I'm more than willing to help.

    P.S. So...have you ever eaten a nerf basketball? :) Beautifully illustrated story.

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  3. It's so weird to me that Ernie from Sesame Street would be so rude about towing your car. He's always seemed like a nice enough guy.

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  4. agreed... moving sucks, in a traumatic and deeply disturbing kind of way.

    i'm thinking of starting a support group.

    there will be punch and pie.

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  5. The characters you have seen portrayed in those drawings have only two ways of displaying emotion. The first and most common is through the eyebrows. Up means nervous or startled, down means angry or confused, and so on. The second is through the syntax attached to the gas-y emissions. "Frrrtttt?" Means "I'm confused, or "You have startled me". "Frrrtttt!!" Means "I am angry" or "That's ridiculous!"

    Now you know

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  6. and knowing is half the battle.

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    ReplyDelete