I have significantly upped my street cred by purchasing a du-rag. It's pretty great.
Now I look just like Bodie from The Wire. See?
What do you mean I look like an idiot? Are you saying Bodie looks like an idiot? I don't see why you're having such a hard time comparing me to a tough streetwise African-American drug dealer. Look again. We have similar headwear!
Mikey says I look like an unemployed pornstar. I don't see it.
Ah hell, who am I kidding. I don't even look like an unemployed pornstar. I look like Elektra.
Even the cat knows it's silly.