Wednesday, May 6, 2009

scenes from a ballpark

-Awkward Athelete PSA:

"As a kid, I was taught to be aggressive on the basepaths. But the exact opposite! Is TRUE behind the wheel! Of a car.

-Saw a brave cowboy that looked like he was carved out of Tommy Lee Jones. Stern and stoic, blowing his nose into a handkerchief, being all cowboy-like. Then I noticed that his "boots" were actually some croc-like shoe disguised to look like cowboy boots. Way to disappoint us all, dude.

-Wanted to buy a cool zip-up hoodie, but it was $55. $55! I think we can blame AIG for that.

-Player on the other team named Callix Crabbe. Harry Potter character?

-Decided it was finally time to eat a ridiculous hot dog. A huge monstrosity smothered with vegetables I don't like and odd sauces. And you know what? It was great. I'd do it again and with a clear conscience.

That's John Lackey, World Series hero and big time Major League Angel. Five innings, one hit. Nice.

Two grand slams in one inning? That's too many grand slams!

Just kidding. It's the right amount of grand slams.

I went to high school with that lunging man.

With a 13-0 lead, the Bees got cocky. This guy went to the plate without a bat.

Look at this guy, trying to pretend that he doesn't see the mascot. Like gingivitis, the "ignore it and it will go away" method just doesn't work.

It wasn't a full moon, but it was still werewolfy.

I dunno, Spring Mobile Ballpark is an awkward name. No ring to it at all. And I don't think I'll ever be convinced to start calling cell phones mobile phones.

I decided that it was finally safe to remove my Obama sticker. I've done all I can. He'll have to take it from here.

Replaced with this one, in case people behind me forget what city they're in.

Shoot, I don't remember what I did with the Obama sticker. It was only like ten minutes ago. I hope I didn't throw it out. I want to keep it with all my other political memorabilia (a Pete Ashdown button and a picture of Elvis and Nixon).

The end.


  1. I kept trying to get a good look at the cowboys to see what you were seeing, but the girl sitting in front of them, she who was wearing semi-slutty clothes from 2005 kept catching me. I hope she doesn't think my eyes had any use for her.

    Two grand slams.

  2. hey, i was at that game too! not too far from you by the looks of it.

    lackey, two grand slams in one inning, perfect weather, good times.

  3. Screw you, apple pie. Cowboys, ice cream cones and baseball - THAT is America.

  4. That guy got cocky and went to the plate without a bat. Hahaha! Awesome!

  5. Us football continues to grow an substantial worldwide fan base since this American Skilled Football Affiliation was made in 1920, while using the first activity being competed on July 3rd of their year.