Wednesday, January 14, 2009

nuff said

I'm back. This is my first significant blog post in a long time. I've been busy, and also I haven't been doing anything. Wha-huh? Yeah. See I've been working really hard, and I haven't done anything blog-worthy of late.

But get this! I am now unemployed. For the first time since the fall of 1996, I do not have a job. It's great. As I envision it, I'm going to spend two weeks really getting my shit together. I'm going to finish my novel and my screenplay and my short story collection, throwaway/giveaway/sell at least 30% of my stuff, lose 15 lbs, and go to the zoo at least once. After those few days I figure I can just head out of the house in a suit and pick up one of those job things.

I'm hoping that's how it works out. I'm kind of worried if it doesn't. I don't have any savings, but I have a lot of credit cards all with like a 30 cent APR and that's probably pretty good right? 30 cents is nothing.

If I had to attach words to last weekend, those words would be "cute things." Like this lil' bears Iris made.

and Michelle's new best friend.

and Marsha's new puppy.

Speaking of cute things, I saw Slumdog Millionaire on Friday. Actress Freida Pinto (not Mexican) is so beautiful she makes Aishwarya Rai look like Aishwarya Why. I liked the movie, but Indian Regis sure is a dick.

Iris is finally back in town, so Saturday night I went to see the Crate-Lung Cooperative at the Kilby.

I bought a hand-painted Crate Lung matchbook which will come in handy next time I need to light the grill for burgers.

Later that night I got into an argument over whether or not Garlic was food. It's going to be hard to rebuild that burned bridge. Also the moon was really big or something so I tried to find some Wiccans to talk to about it but I don't really know any Wiccans.

Sunday was the last day of Body Worlds. My employee Tara drew this. I'm the best boss ever.

After the last guest left the exhibit there was a bit of a celebration.

Is there anything more symbolic of closing time than some guy vacuuming?

I'm proud of the fact that I never had to wear the uniform. Or maybe I was supposed to and just refused.

Kersten was really happy. She has been with this thing since near the beginning and worked 48 straight hours

I spent most of my time at Body Worlds holed up in my office so there was all this cool stuff I missed out on, like the wall of secret confessions.

After the celebration I went socializing with a few co-workers. Caitlin stole my glasses and looked really cute.

But guess what Caitlin: you'll never be more than the second-cutest person in my glasses.

The celebration rolls on. Monday night was the official Body Worlds wrap party. From the stories I've heard, I was hilarious at the party. Makes me wish I had been there.

Bryton Vision:

I ended up falling asleep somewhere in the building. As you might suspect, passing out in an exhibit full of plastinated bodies can lead to waking up to a startling sight.

Anyway. Here's to the future. Excelsior!


  1. I hope the future includes more blogging.

  2. i imagine you waking up with a spare nipple stuck to your cheek

  3. Here's what you should do for a new job: Start a little shop which includes some of the body displays, as well as some pretty-smelling lotions, and call it Bath and Body Worlds. You will make millions.

  4. Garlic is indeed not food. It's only consumed to fend-off vampires.

    And make other foods taste better... more like a spice of sorts. No one really calls salt a food.

    But mostly the vampire thing. Thats why we eat it I think.

  5. dear bryTon,

    who is this clown you got to support your lunatic theories about garlic?? garlic is food the same way onions are food (they're actually related). nothing at all like salt which is a mineral. DUH!

    here's a recipe to prove my point:

    "Roasted Garlic recipe

    Roasted Garlic ingredients list:
    4 cloves of garlic.
    ½ cup of chicken broth.
    2 tablespoons of butter.
    ½ teaspoon of dried leaf thyme.
    ¼ teaspoon of ground black pepper.
    ¼ teaspoon of salt.

    Instructions for Roasted Garlic:
    Remove the outer peel from the garlic.

    Place the garlic cloves in a baking dish.

    Dab each clove with butter.

    Sprinkle the garlic cloves with thyme, pepper and salt.

    Pour the chicken broth into the dish.

    Cover the dish with foil and bake at 350°F (175°C) for one hour, basting frequently.

    Uncover the dish and bake at the same temperature for another 15 minutes.

    Serve as you wish."

    oh and can I just tell you? you don't really need the chicken broth and you don't really need to baste and your garlic will taste just fine.

    oh and #2:

    "Spanish Garlic Soup ingredients list:
    10 garlic cloves, peeled and sliced.
    5 cups of beef broth.
    1 cup of dry sherry.
    ¼ cup of olive oil.
    French bread, sliced and toasted.
    Grated Parmesan cheese.
    Salt and pepper.

    Instructions for Spanish Garlic Soup:
    Sauté the garlic in the olive oil until it turns golden.

    Heat the beef broth with sherry. When the broth reaches the boiling point, add garlic and the olive oil.

    Season with salt and pepper to taste; then simmer for about 30 minutes.

    Strain out the garlic and reheat.

    Sprinkle toasted French bread slices generously with Parmesan cheese, then place them in a 425°F (220°C) oven for about 3-4 minutes.

    Put the hot toast in the bottom of soup dishes; then pour the soup over top."

    no wonder I mistrust science.


  6. i am torn as to what i think of garlic as. really, it's point is just to season things. but i guess that doesn't mean it can't be considered a food. let's think of basil, for example. if you are eating a caprese sandwich with full, fresh basil leaves on it, you'd of course think of it as a food. but what if they are dried and turned into miniscule flakes or a powder with which you season your food? still consider it a food?


  7. garlic is food. indeed. and lisa is way smart! i wish i had her brain. and then I could make millions. i hope you stole the nipples. you could do a lot with those.