Monday, December 29, 2008

common side effects include drowsiness and mime hallucinations

You wouldn't think it would be that hard to recap very recent events in one's own life. Yet I find myself frozen at the keyboard, unable to summarize the events of Christmas week. I was hoping that by diving on in I'd find my groove, but I just spent about an hour between typing "... Christmas week." and "I was hoping..."

Well whatever.

Tuesday night. Tuesday had that "last day of school" feeling. I guess that Christmas Break excitement that you pick up in grade school never really leaves. After work I went to one of my downtown safehouses to watch the Jazz lose badly in a game that wasn't interesting to watch. But the night still had a happy ending when we found ourselves with a huge bag of balloon animal balloons. The reasons for this are too complicated and dull to get into, but balloon animals is the shit, yo. Check out this one:

Yeah Terrence made that one. Here's one of mine:

To be fair, he had the instruction book and I did not. Plus, did anyone really expect me to be good at balloon animals? Have you ever seen me try to wrap a present or write my own name?

Christmas Eve Morn I got up like way early and went to breakfast with some of the crew. I was satisfied with my breakfast, but I feel like it could have been more exotic. There was also some controversy over fresh fruit, but maybe that busker TR can explain that.

I zipped around to do some last minute Christmas shopping and it wasn't bad at all. I expected less parking spaces and more sharp elbows to the ribs. One thing I didn't expect at all was this:

I don't often see Native American Mimes dancing and miming on a street corner in front of the dollar theaters. What was she doing there? My comic book- I mean, drug dealer Greg said "maybe she's protesting against Indians that talk too much." That's a good explanation. More likely though, I think she was just embracing the indie-film idea of making the world more magical or something like that. Normally I would scoff at such an idea but hey, it got me talking. Godspeed, girl.

I classed it up for our family Christmas party. I tied a Windsor knot in my necktie for the first time. Usually I just go with the four-in-hand which is strange because I like symmetry. There aren't any pictures of Handsome B but here's Mikey keepin' it cool.

There was a really awesome cheese log and cracker platter but you'll have to imagine it because the picture I took was grotesque.

Gordon is not gonna put up with any bullshit.

Christmas Morning. Awwww look at the cat she thinks she's presents!

Mikey wanted an iPhone but I couldn't afford that so I just made one for him.

I asked him to take pictures of the family and stuff but instead he took about fifty pictures exactly like this.

I got some fun stuff. Like this, Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart" on vinyl. That's one of the best songs there is.

The problem is there are three different versions. This has the March 1980 version, but I like the January 1980 version much better. I didn't know that it would be the lesser (in my opinion) version on this record. But it's got a cool cover and it's on green vinyl and there are secret messages written on the inner groove so that's cool.

I also got a bitchin' coffee table book about the history of Marvel Comics. It yielded this discovery:

That night I went to see the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. A massive ice storm hit right as I left the house and I was worried that I'd have to spend the night inside of a taun-taun. From what I understand, they smell bad.

I really hated this movie. Hated it! If you want me to be more specific as to why, we can have that conversation. Also from now on I'm boycotting the Gateway Theaters. They're dirty. The crowd is bad. They have assigned seating, which on the surface sounds like a good idea but it's actually not. And the aisles are so narrow that it is impossible to walk past seated people unless you're as nimble as a giraffe.

I mean, the whole framing story with the Hurricane was completely unnecessary, and the tone and style were inconsistent throughout, and the "gimmick" was never really addressed and I'm not even sure ... forget it.

But hey! It's time for one of my patented and hilarious movie review lolcats!

Snow continued throughout the weekend. I had to take a pack of sled dogs to work on Friday. This gives you an idea of how much snow fell in a 24 minute period.

Driving home was a little slippery.

I'm done talking about this.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

winter is coming

Oh hi. You ready for Christmas? Cold enough for you? Working late or lately working? Eh Eh Eh?

Friday night an ice storm rolled through town and we're still digging ourselves out from under it. The drive home from work, normally fifteen minutes, took over an hour. Barely made it home in one piece. Here's what the drive looked like from inside:

Saturday I worked. I also had a caprese sandwich from the bakery in the lobby, which isn't that big of a deal because I get those a lot, but I just thought it was time to mention it. They're really tasty.

Saturday night a Christmas party at the SLC202 house. You could tell it was a Christmas party because of the tree.

Also the steamy smell of delicious wassail (not pictured).

Picture vortex!

The party was wild. Screaming and running and chasing and throwing. Sounds bawdy, but I'm just talking about the kids.

Priya likes to observe her beverages closely.

Legend knows how to count to 200. There can be no doubt about that.

Next year you'll all be eating this. Fire and Ice.

Sunday I went Christmas shopping. I was worried about crowds and stress but it wasn't that bad. Unfortunately once I was out and about I realized that I don't know my friends and family very well so I didn't know what to get them. I ended up just picking up ten of the same thing. Hope they like it. (spoiler):

Friday, December 19, 2008


There are those who would say that 46 pizzas is enough pizzas. To them I say, why not 47?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Adventure Day: Highway 89

I had a four day weekend. It was great. I got so much done. So much sleeping. Mostly sleeping. I pretty much wasted the whole thing. Sigh.

No, it was good. I really really needed this break. Now I just need to power through the next four week of Body Worlds and then I can celebrate unemployment. I tried to make plans to skip town but nothing came together. Luckily for me (but not so much for him) codename Terrence needed a last-minute early-morning operation and ended up taking Monday off, so Adventure Day was born.

I've long held a fascination with US Highway 89. Not really sure why. Before the interstate freeway system 89 ran from the Mexican to the Canadian border. It's the road less traveled now, with lots of old/interesting/beautiful/ugly sights to see along the way. It exists in fragments now, but someday soon I hope to drive the remaining 1250 miles. When I accomplish that I'm going to get a tattoo to commemorate it.

Adventure Day started with breakfast at the Left Fork Grill. It's decorated with a subdued nautical theme which is good because many of the patrons look like old timey sea captains.

Next, the Army-Navy Surplus to gear up because on Adventure Day you need to be prepared for anything.

Surplus packs and bags. The one in the middle must have belonged to Corporal Klinger.

After an ugly incident with a Filipino gang that resulted in a mouth full of broken glass for Terrence, we were back on the road. 89 through Orem is more depressing than not, so we took I-15 and hooked back up with 89 in the Springville area.

89 breaks up and requires a trip through the deadly and dangerous Spanish Fork Canyon, each turn shrouded in a cloud of white.

Normally I would have been nervous driving in those conditions but we were both doped up on Vicodin so it was totally fine.

Pulled over to do some adventuring and crossed the frozen highway.

A short time later we made an amazing discovery: the lost city of Thistle! Like Jamestown, no one really knows what happened to Thistle. According to legend it was drowned in a flood in 1983.

The much receded "Thistle Lake" was frozen solid which made for better exploring.


He's been in hiding for a long time, but now he's getting sloppy.

Terrence has a friend named Zina. She lives in the heart of Pigeon Valley, a few miles outside of a small town at the end of a long dirt road. I saw a bald eagle on the way there, but I couldn't tell if it was crying or not.

Zina's lifestyle is much more rugged than mine, as evidenced by these neato bone chimes.

She has three cats, and two of them are especially noteworthy. Like this hairless fellow, Ruben.

He looks mean but his personality kind of reminded me of Charlie Brown. And petting him is just like petting microsuede.

Hans, the bengal cat. Probably the prettiest housecat I've ever seen.

An Icelandic artist named Inga left this behind. I like it.

The bathroom is tiled all crazy-like.

Zina knew I was coming so she turned on some glowing green lights so I'd be comfortable.

We ventured back out, Ephraim bound. But the road was blocked, by sheep!

Lots of them! A river of sheep! I haven't spent much time in the country.

A Sheepman wrangling these wooly cattle.. waitaminute, that's a Sheepboy.

To Ephraim, in search of the final resting place of Ed "Big Daddy" Roth. Ed Roth was a counterculture/hot-rod icon in the pre-Beatles days. You might be familiar with his creation Rat Fink.

He's buried in Ephraim, in this cemetery.

Or so we thought. He's actually buried one town over in Manti. Manti has some rich sights. Like this, a Temple to the Lord erected by an ancient peoples.

The view from atop shows the cemetery we will soon explore.

Edbigdaddy Roth's grave is not easy to find, and the internet was little help. Cool cemetery though.

After hours of tromping around in the snow Terrence found pictures of Roth's funeral (thanks, iphone!) We were finally able to pinpoint the location through the background in the photos.

The inscription reads "We gave the world our two cents."

Back to Ephraim for some eats. Zina listed off the options: "A Chinese place, a couple of pizza places, the Satisfied Ewe - "

Clearly, when in Ephraim one must eat at the Satisfied Ewe.

We met up with English and his family. I've never met English but I have various connections to him. Gatsby has been good friends with him for years, I'm friends with English's brother TR, and I used to listen to English's public radio show, Huzzah for Ska. I'd even call in with requests sometimes. And I read his blog, so it was cool to finally meet him.


The drive back was something. So dark. So icy. So snowy. So isolated. I had to take too Vicodins just to get through it.

Stopping for gas, and who should I see on the front page of the paper, partying with the Governor? My new friend Zina. How about that.

Also, Sheepman of the Year.