Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Hello. It's been a while. I've done blogworthy things lately but when faced with the choice between blogging and not-blogging... well, I think you know what's been winning out. But tonight I was given the option to watch Benjamin Button and if you recall, I would do anything to avoid watching Benjamin Button. If President Barack Obama invited me over to the Doubleya-H to watch that movie I'd say "Um, I think I have something going on that night. But maybe?"

Last weekend I went camping. I don't camp often but you know that when it comes to things, I like doing them, and I'll hardly ever turn down an opportunity for adventure.

Our destination was Archimedes National Park, more commonly known as Arches. It's one of five National Parks in our fair state, and famous for being the setting of Edward Abbey's memoir Desert Solitaire and the place where Indiana Jones picked up all of his famous character traits in a single afternoon.

Spanish Fork Canyon has made a few appearances on this blog but never before has it been so green.

Verdant even.

You can have your energy lattes. For me the only thing you need to drink on a road trip is Orange BANG!

Maybe I've never even tried it. I bet it's refreshing though. I just think Orange BANG! is really funny for some reason (not in a double-entendre way either).

In the visitor center parking lot I found the most amazing lizard I've ever seen.

We set up camp along the remote shore of the Colorado River. We put the rough in roughing it.

Okay fine it was a drive-up campground.

Listen. I don't care how quickly you burn. Do not spray sunscreen directly into your eyes. It's just not worth it, for a lot of reasons. Reason number one being the intense burning sensation you will experience in your eyeballs. Reason number two being that you won't be able to see anything at all and your friends will have to describe all the wondrous sights passing by the window and tell you when to brake and steer. Reason number three goes back to the general embarrassment of walking around like a loser. Reason number four is the burning pain again.

So anyway, that plagued me all day. But here's Balanced Rock.

This is uh... let's call it Window Arch? You know what would be cool: if Scott would comment on here and tell us how arches are formed. He knows all about that stuff.


Wait maybe this one is Window Arch.

The fun thing about Arches is that they could fall on you at any moment. Since 1971 forty-three Arches have collapsed within the park.

Elin let's sand slip her fingers and contemplates important things while the melody to the Scorpions' "Dust in the Wind" dances through her mind.

And I recreate a scene from the Old Testament.

I found a monkey on a rock. I don't think it has a name yet so it is hereby The Sad Orangutan.

Landscape Arch.

I think I've heard the word arch too many times in this entry.

The difference between a Navajo arch and a regular arch is that the Navajo arch is served on flatbread.

This is how I pout.

When I get stingy eyes and run out of fresh water and people won't stop calling me "Bry," I find the nearest sandstone cave and crawl inside.

Stunning vista.

Terrence conquers a ridge

I was hesitant to go up there because there were gale-force winds, and my aunt was recently doing our family's genealogy and discovered that my great-grandfather was a flying squirrel, so really not in my best interest to toy with fate.

On to Dead Horse Point. Which is way cooler than the Grand Canyon by the way.

Becky is all like "Don't take my picture."

But Elin and I wanted some pictures of ourselves acting naturally.



So why's it called Dead Horse Point? Well according to legend, some horses died there.

There's the sky for you.

The magic hour, right before sunset. The best possible time to take pictures. I learned that taking pictures during sunset with the flash on yielded cool professionally results.

Notice that I still don't really have use of my eye here.

For me the greatest accomplishment is getting a nice looking candid shot of people laughing. Of all my photos I have maybe three shots that qualify. It's surprisingly difficult.

What does Becky see that's so interesting as to be hand to lips worthy? We may never know.

Stopped for gas before heading into Moab. We nearly ran out. Oh man, that would have been so funny.

Nah we were fine. People were alarmed by the flashing lights and buzzers saying that we were out of gas, but I know what my little Scion can do.

A popular bumper sticker says "New York London Paris Moab." I'm not so sure about that. Moab isn't that cool. Unless they're talking about the surrounding area. The part with all the weird rocks. I guess that counts.

Moab is probably the only of those four cities to have a Hunter S. Thompson themed motel though.

You can't tell but clinging to the side is a lizard dressed like Thompson.

We decided to eat over there, to the left.

Four people in a three person tent can make for intimate llaisons, but I didn't try to get fresh with the girls.

Getting going the next morning was rough, but luckily we weren't on a deadline so I could move in slow-motion.

Did you know they still make Tab? You know who drinks Tab? Elin drinks Tab. I've yet to see her Tabless.

We had breakfast at a place called the Pancake Haus, a restaurant with a German name serving American food run by a happy Turkishman. I'm pretty sure they were playing Kraftwerk music.

A running gag throughout the trip was impersonating bad Utah accents.

"Wanna know why the rolls at Chuck-a-Rama are s'good? Cuz they make em fraysh!"

"We hahd bahd crede't, but they helped us bai a naice vahhhhn."

At the restaurant we encountered the real thing, as a woman desperately asked the smiling Dornishman for "Crens. You know, for li'uhl keds. Crens? Crens? Li'uhl keds?"

Back to Arches to see the grandest arch of all. But first, The Three Gossips.

They're probably talking about this week's episode of the Bachelorette.

I thought this was interesting.

A $100 fine seems pretty insignificant. If I was the defacing rock sort, I'd gladly pay that in order to let future generations know that I "was here."

Oh the hike up to Delicate Arch we passed this Civil War veteran. The tales he could tell.

Hey there it is Delicate Arch! That's our state symbol! It's on our licence plates!!!!

I was going to photoshop those people out but then I felt bad. They were there, at that moment. They existed, dammit, and I've no right to take that away from them.

When I took this picture I didn't realize it was the exact shot from the Indiana Jones movie.

This was in Indiana Jones too. That cave is where River Phoenix goes and steals the cross.

Alright enough of that let's go home.

Stopped for lunch here, in Green River. How many towns have a Creedence song and a serial killer named after them?

The four of us decided to commemorate the trip with vaguely rockabilly/pirate themed tattoos. An impulsive decision, but ultimately the right one.

the end


  1. nice skink.
    bitchin' tats.

  2. maybe you didn't try to get fresh with us girls, but that didn't stop you from making night soils in the crowded tent.

    so freeaish!

  3. Excellent pictures as always...and the narration was superb. Kudos! :)

  4. Awesome photography! And the one with the mountain merging into the hands blew my mind.


    The difference between a Navajo arch and a regular arch is that the Navajo arch is served on flatbread.

    Is awesome.

  5. "What does Becky see that's so interesting as to be hand to lips worthy? We may never know."

    let me just solve this mystery for everyone right here. i saw a bald eagle flying overhead holding an american flag in it's talons and shedding a single tear into the colorado river.

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