soils

Hello. It's been a while. I've done blogworthy things lately but when faced with the choice between blogging and not-blogging... well, I think you know what's been winning out. But tonight I was given the option to watch Benjamin Button and if you recall, I would do anything to avoid watching Benjamin Button. If President Barack Obama invited me over to the Doubleya-H to watch that movie I'd say "Um, I think I have something going on that night. But maybe?"

Last weekend I went camping. I don't camp often but you know that when it comes to things, I like doing them, and I'll hardly ever turn down an opportunity for adventure.




Our destination was Archimedes National Park, more commonly known as Arches. It's one of five National Parks in our fair state, and famous for being the setting of Edward Abbey's memoir Desert Solitaire and the place where Indiana Jones picked up all of his famous character traits in a single afternoon.

Spanish Fork Canyon has made a few appearances on this blog but never before has it been so green.

Verdant even.

You can have your energy lattes. For me the only thing you need to drink on a road trip is Orange BANG!

Maybe I've never even tried it. I bet it's refreshing though. I just think Orange BANG! is really funny for some reason (not in a double-entendre way either).

In the visitor center parking lot I found the most amazing lizard I've ever seen.

We set up camp along the remote shore of the Colorado River. We put the rough in roughing it.

Okay fine it was a drive-up campground.

Listen. I don't care how quickly you burn. Do not spray sunscreen directly into your eyes. It's just not worth it, for a lot of reasons. Reason number one being the intense burning sensation you will experience in your eyeballs. Reason number two being that you won't be able to see anything at all and your friends will have to describe all the wondrous sights passing by the window and tell you when to brake and steer. Reason number three goes back to the general embarrassment of walking around like a loser. Reason number four is the burning pain again.

So anyway, that plagued me all day. But here's Balanced Rock.

This is uh... let's call it Window Arch? You know what would be cool: if Scott would comment on here and tell us how arches are formed. He knows all about that stuff.

Nature.

Wait maybe this one is Window Arch.

The fun thing about Arches is that they could fall on you at any moment. Since 1971 forty-three Arches have collapsed within the park.

Elin let's sand slip her fingers and contemplates important things while the melody to the Scorpions' "Dust in the Wind" dances through her mind.

And I recreate a scene from the Old Testament.

I found a monkey on a rock. I don't think it has a name yet so it is hereby The Sad Orangutan.

Landscape Arch.

I think I've heard the word arch too many times in this entry.

The difference between a Navajo arch and a regular arch is that the Navajo arch is served on flatbread.

This is how I pout.

When I get stingy eyes and run out of fresh water and people won't stop calling me "Bry," I find the nearest sandstone cave and crawl inside.

Stunning vista.

Terrence conquers a ridge

I was hesitant to go up there because there were gale-force winds, and my aunt was recently doing our family's genealogy and discovered that my great-grandfather was a flying squirrel, so really not in my best interest to toy with fate.

On to Dead Horse Point. Which is way cooler than the Grand Canyon by the way.

Becky is all like "Don't take my picture."

But Elin and I wanted some pictures of ourselves acting naturally.

Nature.
Nature.
Shadows!

Look!

So why's it called Dead Horse Point? Well according to legend, some horses died there.

There's the sky for you.

The magic hour, right before sunset. The best possible time to take pictures. I learned that taking pictures during sunset with the flash on yielded cool professionally results.

Notice that I still don't really have use of my eye here.

For me the greatest accomplishment is getting a nice looking candid shot of people laughing. Of all my photos I have maybe three shots that qualify. It's surprisingly difficult.

What does Becky see that's so interesting as to be hand to lips worthy? We may never know.

Stopped for gas before heading into Moab. We nearly ran out. Oh man, that would have been so funny.

Nah we were fine. People were alarmed by the flashing lights and buzzers saying that we were out of gas, but I know what my little Scion can do.

A popular bumper sticker says "New York London Paris Moab." I'm not so sure about that. Moab isn't that cool. Unless they're talking about the surrounding area. The part with all the weird rocks. I guess that counts.

Moab is probably the only of those four cities to have a Hunter S. Thompson themed motel though.

You can't tell but clinging to the side is a lizard dressed like Thompson.

We decided to eat over there, to the left.

Four people in a three person tent can make for intimate llaisons, but I didn't try to get fresh with the girls.

Getting going the next morning was rough, but luckily we weren't on a deadline so I could move in slow-motion.

Did you know they still make Tab? You know who drinks Tab? Elin drinks Tab. I've yet to see her Tabless.

We had breakfast at a place called the Pancake Haus, a restaurant with a German name serving American food run by a happy Turkishman. I'm pretty sure they were playing Kraftwerk music.

A running gag throughout the trip was impersonating bad Utah accents.

"Wanna know why the rolls at Chuck-a-Rama are s'good? Cuz they make em fraysh!"

"We hahd bahd crede't, but they helped us bai a naice vahhhhn."

At the restaurant we encountered the real thing, as a woman desperately asked the smiling Dornishman for "Crens. You know, for li'uhl keds. Crens? Crens? Li'uhl keds?"

Back to Arches to see the grandest arch of all. But first, The Three Gossips.

They're probably talking about this week's episode of the Bachelorette.

I thought this was interesting.

A $100 fine seems pretty insignificant. If I was the defacing rock sort, I'd gladly pay that in order to let future generations know that I "was here."

Oh the hike up to Delicate Arch we passed this Civil War veteran. The tales he could tell.

Hey there it is Delicate Arch! That's our state symbol! It's on our licence plates!!!!

I was going to photoshop those people out but then I felt bad. They were there, at that moment. They existed, dammit, and I've no right to take that away from them.

When I took this picture I didn't realize it was the exact shot from the Indiana Jones movie.

This was in Indiana Jones too. That cave is where River Phoenix goes and steals the cross.

Alright enough of that let's go home.

Stopped for lunch here, in Green River. How many towns have a Creedence song and a serial killer named after them?

The four of us decided to commemorate the trip with vaguely rockabilly/pirate themed tattoos. An impulsive decision, but ultimately the right one.

the end

WIN!

This entry is going to be very similar to the last one. And here's a spoiler: the next entry is going to be very similar as well. But that's okay! We're all having a good time here right?

So I've seen the Star Trek three times now. Most recently at the drive in. Drive-in is a good time, particularly in the summer.

I'm still not sick of this movie. What does that say about me? At least I don't wear the uniform, like the guy that was next to me at a stoplight on the way home. Also seen on the way home:

What is this building? An adult daycare center.

Saturday I went to a sports and Cash was there. We walked around a little bit and it occurred to me: he's very small. I guess three year olds tend to be smaller than the folks in my own peer group, so there's nothing unusual about that at all. It's just very striking.

Early in the game he entertained us with some songs and told us about his buddy the Bee mascot. But near the end he totally lost his mind. I probably shouldn't have bought him that beer.

I just wanted him to think I was cool! Just kidding of course I didn't buy him a beer. No, he was just a little hyper as kids can be sometimes. Here's the thing, and people with kids will know what I'm talking about: no matter how cute and intelligent and sweet they may be, it's important to remember that children are wild animals. Let your guard down and next thing you know they'll be acting like they have no bones or eating floor-pizza or stealing your glasses.

Anyway, great to see Jared and Erin and Cash again. Those three are tops in my book.

The game ended early so me and Terrance and Lee went to sample another of the city's burgers.

This place used to be a bar. I don't think you can tell from the picture but the sign brags that it has been there for "50" years (the quotation marks are theirs, not mine). One time I drove by it with my dad and he mentioned that he'd often come to town and get in fights there.

I think it's fighting days are over though because they don't even serve beer anymore and instead offer only mediocre burgers. Actually they were almost good but there was just something missing. Juiciness I think.

I twittered about this, after the Busy Bee we watched Major League. I really love that movie. The end when (SPOILER!) Wild Thing comes into the game to get the last out is one of my favorite sports moments. It's right up there with the Miracle on Ice and Stockton's Three Pointer.

The fans celebrate on the field, and this poor guy can't get anyone to give him five.


Sunday night I went to a Neko Case concert and saw this great parking job.

Neko didn't want anyone taking pictures, so as far as I'm concerned it didn't even happen.

"It did happen I saw it happen don't tell me it didn't happen!"

Okay fine! It happened. It was a great show. I really liked it. Thanks to Anna Ng for reminding me about it and facilitating my entrance.

It's been raining for days here in the valley. I like it. Makes for the kind of pictures I like to take, like this one of the ancestral manor.

Went back to the Bees game on Tuesday and the heavens just didn't want it to happen.

I've never seen the field get tarped before. Not in person anyway. Luckily for TR he was prepared with a rain slicker.

Man, that is a big-ass tarp.

I wondered what they were going to do with all the water that gathered atop the tarp, then they busted out the sqweegees that looked like giant Mach 3 razors.

Nice job spilling water all over the dirt guys.

The game started two hours late but it ended up being a lovely night and a great game.

This guy. The Superfan. He knows what's up.

Check him out. He sustained this the entire game.

Untitled from Bryton Sampson on Vimeo.

Satisfying night.


While we're talking baseball, what is going on here?