I really like Tomorrow Bryton. That guy is always willing to take care of business. Unlike that jerk Yesterday Bryton who continually screws me over.

one-four through one-six oh eight

Well let's get on with this eh? The first "real" post of 2008. Year got off to kind of a bumpy start. For one thing, I haaate New Year's Eve. I always have. This year's was fine. Watched a good basketball game, went to a party where there was awkward dancing (not by me) and good company. The next morning I woke up with literally the worst headache I have ever had in my life. No joke. I did absolutely nothing to earn that, unless it was some form of cosmic retribution. If it was cosmic retribution I didn't learn my lesson because I don't know what it was for.

New Year's Day got better though. Ready for some food porn?

Danish Abelskiver. Mmmmmm.

Friday night I helped the Wests make tacos, which is to say I incompetently grated the cheese. Then I was off to a craft party at Michelle and Elin's house. It was a lot of people sitting around doing various arts and crafts. It was really fun actually. I drew this ape. His patience is wearing thing. Also I haven't quite learned how to draw hands yet.

What, you're calling me a liar? You think I actually drew this ape before the party, and drew a different ape there but don't want to show it because it's not very good? How dare you?

Here's some more arts I've done recently.

Anyway, more food porn. This stuff was so good I really regret waiting until there was only one piece left to partake. I could have had at least 1/6th of this pan. It's a Canadian dish called _______. I don't remember what it's called, but I'm positive that it's an Inuit word.

Saturday morning I had some friends in town from San Francisco. They brought along their newly minted child, Ella. Cool shoes.

Upon returning home I spied evidence of ducks.

Saturday night I sat quietly.

Sunday night I found myself embroiled in a bitter controversy at the grocery store. My Eggos had a $1 off coupon. Tiny Bagger handed it to Goatee'd LAN-Gamer Checker. He rudely set it aside and said "expired." Then 1968 John Lennon Checker chimed in.

"Try it anyway," he said.

"I was told if we take any expired coupons we would be fired."

"You didn't know it was expired."

"But the manufacturer won't see it that way."

"Just try it. It'll save him a buck," said Tiny Bagger

"It's not your job to check if they're expired or not," cajoled 1968 John Lennon Checker.

Goatee'd LAN-Gamer was flustered. I said that I didn't want anyone getting fired over a dollar but I was ignored.

Then I watched the Wire. Still the best show on television.

What to look forward to in 2008

This new year is going to bring some exciting changes to Microsuede!

Nah, not really. It'll just be more of the same old crap.

"Sigh," said Microsuede Girl, resting her chin on her hand.

2007: In Review

I’m trying a little experiment here. I’m going to write my personal year in review without looking at any photos, reading any old e-mails, or perusing past posts on the blog. All we have is our memories right? So I just want to see what truly stands out. This might not be interesting to you at all, but for the sake of public journal vanity, here we go. Once I’m done writing I’ll add photos and links where applicable.

January
Vegas, now! Target, velvet jacket. Morning in St. George. Wash the car, climb a rock. Shrimp aplenty. Dance the night away, (imaginary) special bond with a denim glad vixen. Prblm.



Walk the cold streets of downtown SLC. Morphine and hula-hoops and cats and Sundance and Gordan Giricek watching American Idol.

Demolition Derby in Ogden Town. So much demolition, so many sickly sweet snacks.





February
Road trip to the Grand Canyon. Hot dogs at Home Depot, a gas station feast, sunset over the precipice, finest memoirs, obstacles, Highway 89.




The Avenues. Home Movies, Wolf Parade.




Band of Brothers at Harrison Ave. Sandwiches at the Philadelphean. The Bud comes into existence.



March
Backyard fires, helping Scott move on a rainy night, grilling on the balcony, late nights at the coffee shop, starting this blog and giving up on ever accomplishing anything productive ever again.




April
Lost at Harrison Ave, shooting guns, google chat.

May
Roadtrip to Kodachrome. Freezing the ass off, hiking while wearing standing shoes, driving a hundred miles to see the Jazz game (totally worth it).





Birthday, grilling, everyone there, watching the Jazz.

Ridiculous Purchase Adventure Day

Macbook!

June
Driving around in the sun with Joy, Café Rio, sneaking into the drive-in, ironing.
Dancing to Dan Deacon. Mood goes south.

July
Late night debauchery, punching sand, not fishing.



Fleeing to San Francisco. Walking in the cold and loving every minute.

August
Up yours, August.

September
Shenanigans in Damian’s backyard, stormy night at Nickelcade, throwing down in the Positive Energy Vibe Zone, the best baseball game ever, lots of concerts, mood goes souther still.

October
Roadtrip to St. George. Friday Night Lights and licorice and wind and hot tubs.

November
Everyone is here. Someone old is new again.

December
Pumpkin Ale and surprises, Avenues, mood goes north, lights in Provo, Tecmo Bowl, Orangutans, dance contest, cheese platter.


Final Statistics

The Best Days of 2007:

December 30, 2006, January 12, February 2, 3, 9, March 23, 30, April 12, May 4, 5, 13, 19, 25, 27, June 7, 8, 9, 10, 27, July 11, 14, 15, August 10, 30, September 6, 14, 15, 26, 27, 29, October 6, 19, 20, November 3, 17, 21, 29, December 2, 4, 6, 9, 14.

That's not a joke. I did some digging and determined that these really were the best days.

The Soundtrack of 2007

"Age of Consent" - New Order
"Please Let That Be You" - The Rentals
"Dashboard" - Modest Mouse
"Holland, 1945" - Neutral Milk Hotel
"Play it for Today" - The Legends
"July Jones" - The New Pornographers
"Black Wave/Bad Vibrations" - Arcade Fire
"Take Me to the Riot" - Stars

Yuletide

Oh hello. You caught me mid-blog. I'm just sitting on the blue microsuede plonking away on the macbook.

I hope that you and yours had a lovely holiday season. Mine was leisurely. My idiot brother Sean is back in town. Good to see that fella. Lots of snow, lots of cold, lots of ice. I guess it is winter and all. Funny, I've lived in this bowl of snow my entire life but winter still catches me off guard. But hey, makes for some cozy scenery.


Friday night I foolishly decided to go to the mall. It's been so long since I've malled. The crowds, the stores. I was overwhelmed. I felt like Tarzan in New York City. Naturally I didn't find what I was looking for, a consequence of waiting until the Friday before Christmas. I did see some cool mannequins though.

Later that night. Jazz game. Hot n' Ready. And then! Natonal Treasure: Book of Secrets! (the book of secrets is written by presidents, for presidents). I truly believe this is the "perfect" movie, somehow. I can't describe it. Half the people I saw it with were not amused. I loved it on an ironic level but also on a sincere level.

My favorite part. They (spoiler!) sneak into the Oval Office to (spoiler!) find a clue hidden in the President's (spoiler!) desk.


But the clue isn't th(spoiler!)ere. We find out later that Calvin Coolidge beat them to it. Thing is, the clue is really hard to find and involves opening drawers a certain precise way. So I imagine Silent Cal was just sitting there one day quietly messing around with his desk when he stumbled upon the clue. He probably remarked "..."



Saturday. Hmm. I think I slept most of the day. Eventually my family went to the cemetery to see the luminaries. A few years ago I helped set up the luminaries and that was a nice day for me.



Then, Jazz game, Hot n' Ready. The Jazz lost at the buzzer thanks to Dwyane Wade. What kind of a jerk has a strange Y in their first name? Oh speaking of Y, I also caught the end of the BYU/UCLA game. What an improbably ending to that one, am I right?

I then found myself at the Tap Room with a couple of my married (not to each other) lady friends.


There was this cool part where some jerk that looked like Blink-182 started hassling us and I stared him down and told him to "move along." I was pretty bad-ass. Last time I tried to defend a lady's honor it ended with me getting headbutted in the face by a Calgarian. This time the dude walked away eventually. Probably 'cause I've been working out.

Also I found fifteen bucks in the parking lot! Then back to my friends' house where I enjoyed their hospitality and a nice cheese platter.

Sunday night, dinner hosted by an old family friend. I am kicking myself, right this very moment, for not bringing my camera. The Christmas decorations were off the hook. Seven trees, seventeen nativity scenes, and ninety-six Santas. Wow.

Then I watched the movie Once. I really liked it. It's very Sundancey. If someone asked me what a Sundance movie was like I would show them Once.

Christmas Eve. Dinner with the extended family. Here's my idiot brother Mike helping himself to some dip.

A picture of you finally made the blog. You happy now, Michael?

Here I am stoically eating an olive.


Sean was attacked by a dog named Banjo.

Banjo was fascinated by this robot dog.

Then w'all had a nice conversation that covered the Great Depression, the Holocaust, the Korean War, and the Plague. Seriously.

Now, I don't care where you come from. Boiled red cabbage and mint ice cream does not a tasty dessert make.







Back home me and the brothers watched that Harry Potter movie that I raved about all summer. We were up til 4am because we got a late start due to a ninety minute argument over who got to sit in the big chair.

Christmas morning we enjoyed our traditional Christmas breakfast dish and sat down to watch TV as a family. What did we watch? Well what else?

Then Sean, who's going to stenography school, tried to teach me some stenography. Man, that is complicated business. No wonder there's a whole school for it.

Aaaaand we're done.

dot dot dot

I don't really feel right writing about this but I don't feel right not writing about it either. I ended up with a five-day weekend over Christmas, but for pretty much the worst possible reason. The head of my department passed away suddenly on Thursday night. We're a small operation, only about twenty people, so she wasn't some phantom manager in a corner office. I complain a lot about our customers, my co-workers, all the work I have to do, the attendance policy, the parking lot, the temperature, but seriously if you have to have a job in a becubicled office this is the one to have. She was a great manager and she will be sorely missed.

Two of my friends also had to deal with the unexpected passing of loved ones over the holidays. I've seen my share of tragedy and I'll see more of it, as will we all, but right now all is well in my little sphere. So... count your blessings and all that.

Gloom

Driving around, listening to Arcade Fire, contemplating contemplations, getting my money's worth out of the anti-lock brakes.