pardon our mess

Gack! I've accidentally hit "publish" twice on an entry that wasn't ready yet. You'll see them if you're using google reader. Please disregard and check back later today.

Maybe it's time for me to get out of the Game. The Game of Blogging. I'm getting slow on the draw. Or I guess, too quick on the draw.

I could retire... set up a nice website somewhere, get myself a Tamagotchi for companionship.

Every once in a while some young punk looking to make a name for himself will stop by, click on "contact us."

"They say you used to be a blogger. They say you used to be the best."

-"You got the wrong guy, kid. I don't do that anymore. I ask you now to please move along. I have to ask a second time, won't be so polite."

"Just what I thought. You're nothing but a wash up. I guess I'll let you get back to your Gateway computer to check your AOL account."

[B. sets his jaw]

-"Kid."

"What?"

[B. uploads a picture of John McCain and adds his own hilarious caption. The younger man is stunned. He's never seen anyone use a macbook track-pad that fast.]

-"Whoever told you I used to be the best was wrong. I'm still the best. Now I ask you again, move along."




That was a pretty good story. I call it Unforgiven.

nothing to blog about

This blog has gotten so boring lately. What's up with that? I'd blame busy-ness but that couldn't be further from the truth. In fact I'm less busy than I've been in a long time.

Been watching the Olympics? I have. I like it. I was going to do an Olympic based retro-adventure because I have a nice fast scanner now so I can digitalize my old filmy photos. But in order to do that I'd have to walk clear over there and plug the thing into the thing and ctrl click save as and all that nonsense.

So uh, pretty disappointing about Bigfoot huh?

I can't believe none of you have even noticed my new glasses.

I'm thinking of going to Denver tomorrow.

What if I made a microsuede t-shirt? Just for me.

I need a new cell phone I hate this one.

My glasses are kind of green but I think I'll trade them in for the same version but in black.

Not that you would notice anyway.

Seriously Phelps, you should think about trading in one of your medals for a better hat.

Someone just rubbed my fuzzy head. That was unwelcome.

Not a t-shirt made of microsuede, but a t-shirt with a microsuedy design.

Yeah, Denver.

choose wisely

I didn't do anything this weekend. I saw The Dark Knight again. It's pretty great. I don't really have anything new to contribute to the collective conversation about the movie, so I'm not going to offer any sort of review. I will say that it really needs to be seen on an Imax screen. It's totally worth the extra money and inconvenience. Gotham City has never felt so Imaxy before. I'll probably end up seeing it ten times this summer, and I'm not even that much of a nerd.*

Aside from that, nothing to report. I'm going to use this opportunity to rest up. Take a quick little break from the Suede. Wednesday morning I'm leaving on an adventure that I'm sure will keep us busy for a while. I may try to do some live blogging, but if not I'll be back with a huge update next week, most likely Tuesday afternoon.

So, uh... what should we talk about now?



* - or am I? stay tuned

new blog! sex and the city!

So I saw the Sex and the City movie last night. I don't know why. I've never even seen the show. Anyway, I have such strong feelings about the movie that I started a new blog about it. Check it out here:

http://sexandthesuedy.blogspot.com/

If you haven't seen the movie, beware of major spoilers. Also you'll probably find it way funnier if you've seen the movie.

please standby

Technical Difficulties are preventing me from updating the Microsuede as planned.

Please return later this evening to read about my fantastic adventures in the mythical city of Chicago.

slikk

what, i've got nothing better to do than sit around and update my blog? i'm at work. busy busy busy. today is terrible, i haven't been off the phone in the last three hours. it's outright hellish.

just now a guy got all mad at me for hanging up on him, and i didn't hang up on him at all. he was in mid-sentence and said "ah shit!" then as he was putting the phone down he said "asshole hung up on me." i am not the best customer serviceman in the world. in fact i'm probably in the lower percentile and i'll gladly own any mis-deeds that i actually commit, but i will not stand for being blamed for something i didn't do. if he call back then i will hang up with him just to keep the universe balanced

things are looking up though. it's baseball opening day. i'm DVR-ing the Twins/Angels game and having some gents over for my signature B.-Burgers. do any baseball fans read this blog? The Twins starting lineup is almost completely different from last year. should be interesting. Sports Illustrated has them finishing last in the division. bah to that, i say. over in the NL i'm still firmly on the Rockies bandwagon. also of note is the Bee's home opener in 10 days. exciting.

weekend was sedate. Friday night i went to Freaky Dee's, nothing too exciting, but i did see a guy wearing this coat.

Saturday i hung out with these idiots since it was Sean's last day in town. we went to lunch at Big & Delicious Burgers and then to the zoo.

not a real good day for animal watching since it was cold and all, but it was fun watching Talukan try to enjoy a bottle of frozen lemonade. he took the lid of and tried a few times to get a drink but it didn't work. finally he started ripping the plastic jug from the lemonade block with his teeth, then licked away as though it were a popsicle.

the zoo is trying to pass off this big rubber alligator as the real deal. those fools didn't even paint it the right color!

Sunday i watched season 1 of Twin Peaks. man-oh-man. that's good television. Dale Cooper is one of the best characters there's ever been.

ch ch-ch chhh ch-ch chhh ch-ch chhh

micro-played (out)

Well it's official: I have nothing left to say to the world.

anhedonia

Troubling news out of the Microsuede camp. I may have to give up coffee. Sometime last week I became very anxietous. Not that I was nervous or worrying about things, but my heart became all poundy. That's not cool. As an experiment I went a couple of days without coffee, and I was fine. I mean, jitter-wise I was fine. I did fall asleep in the middle of giving a presentation to the VPs though.

To further the experiment I had some coffee yesterday, with the same pulse racing result. Today is another no-coffee today. We'll see how it goes. I'm feeling pretty dead inside. I would say "robotic" but robots generally serve some kind of purpose.

I have an appointment with a trained medical professional tomorrow, so maybe he'll know what's going on. Though one time he kept me waiting over an hour and when he came back he got Carl's Jr. all over the place.

If I do have to give up coffee it should be okay, I am pretty good at giving things up. I cut out 90% of my television viewing, I went 77 days without a drop of hops or spirits, and quitting smoking was the easiest thing I've ever done.

I don't get a lot of credit for quitting smoking, since my smoking habit lasted exactly as long as the time it took to snap this picture, but still.

the aftermath

Thanks for the well wishes on the one year blogiversary. It's nice to hear from all of you. At this point I have exactly zero ideas for upcoming blog entries, so I'm just checking in, maybe I'll talk about my job for a little while.

- there's a new girl at work that has nothing to do yet, so I'm pawning some of my work off on her for "training purposes." The problem is that actually finding stuff for her to do and explaining how to do it is a lot more work than just ignoring it.

I mean seriously, what is all this stuff?

- The girl that sits in front of me at work has an impressively loud voice. My ipod at full volume can't even drown it out. Worse, when she's not on the phone with her husband or yelling across the room to another co-worker, she's talking to herself. "I got an e-mail. Oh it's from blah blah blah. They need to send me their..." Yesterday I loudly announced that I was drinking a V8 and read off the ingredients but she didn't catch on.

- Not that it matters one way or another, but I feel you should know that she looks like the Hobbit.

- I don't dislike all my co-workers. For example, one of them just gave me delicious pumpkin bread.

- but check out this e-mail chain:

From: [someone at hotel]

To: [someone in my office]

Good afternoon,
Can you let me know if this is the correct email address where I am sending DOR every day in order to get reimbursed for gift certificates.
Thank you.

then

From: [someone in my office]
To: [me]
Hi Bryton,
Will you please let this property know that they did send this email to the correct email.
Thank you.

Are you serious? So it's easier to send that e-mail to me than just hit reply and type "yes"?

Well I guess that's all.

ONE YEAR

Dudes guys dudes, today is the one-year anniversary of this blog. One glorious year. I started this blog because if there's one thing I love, it's my own thoughts. I also I wanted this one girl to see how clever I am.

This collage represents six hours of my workday and one year of my life. Click on it to make it huge.



We're celebrating with pie in the comment room. Everyone that reads this blog should stop by and say "hey," even if you've never commented before.

Thanks for reading!

- B.

even cold november rain

Were you between the ages of 14-21 between the time of 1987-1993? Do you remember music? Do you remember music television? Do you remember Guns n' Roses? Do you remember the video for the song "November Rain"?


A couple years ago I wrote up this thing all about Guns n' Roses and November Rain. I really like it and wanted to share it with the Microsuede crowd but it has 85 pictures and I thought that would be too many for the regular blog, so I started a new one just to host the November Rain thing. Check it out here:

http://novembersuede.blogspot.com/

It might be too long to read in one sitting, so I've broken it up into chapters.

By the way, thanks for cheering me up yesterday, jerks.

Hi

I am now a member of the Bloggeratti.

This weekend while perusing a local dumpster I happened across an old copy of Newsweek from 2002 that touted Web Logs as the next big thing. I've been referred to countless times as the "Sam Boyd of the Internet," so it's only natural that I have a Web Log of my own.

I'm still getting settled in here. I've re-arranged the colors and layout to my liking. What do you think? I want this to be pleasing to the senses. Personally I find it very refreshing, like splashing mouthwash over your face on a cool spring morn.

I could use this opportunity to tell you about myself, but I think I'd rather let things move organically. Read this enough and you'll get to know me, I'm certain.

I haven't decided on the focus of this blog yet. Perhaps at some point it will become clear. In the meantime I will be auditioning several different styles of blog. Let me know what you think.

For example, maybe I could get all political on you. "This administration, what a joke! Am I right?" That's totally something I could say.

Or maybe I'll tell you about all the awesome obscure bands I know like Death Cab for Cutie, because I'm hip like that. Or I could take you on a trip down memory lane (depending on how old you are and the strength of your memory) and we could talk about Guns n' Roses for a while. Or I could take a more grammatical approach and ask if it's proper to start three sentences in a row with the word "or."

Since I am the center of attention in my own life, I can only assume that everything that happens to me, no matter how seemingly banal, is actually obscenely important. You want to know about my life, and you want to know now. In that vein, guess what I had for breakfast today? It was Rice Krispies. One bowl. This was about 10:07am. I ate it while standing up in my kitchen. I also had a large stein of coffee in a Tiki mug that my cousin brought me from Hawaii. I got her a discount on a hotel room, which I am more than happy to do as long as I am presented with gifts in return. Oh, I feel you should also know that today I am wearing a grey dress shirt and some new pants that I'm pretty happy about. Come to think of it I could probably spend a whole week talkin' pants. It's a subject that really riles up my blood. In fact I may have to change the name of this blog to Talkin' Pants.

Speaking of blog names, what does this name mean? The First Couple of Outer Space? That's a mystery that may be revealed over time.

A few other things you can definitely expect to see here: my personal tales of wonder and adventure from the darkest corners of the earth (with photo accompaniment!), maybe some short fiction, maybe some intensely personal confessions, maybe some general nonsense.

I hope you're excited about this as I am. Tell all your friends.

Luv,
- B

Blog

BLOG!


Well I'll be darned.