life was supposed to be a film

this issue's soundtrack

Tuesday was my last day at Marriott! I stopped working there months ago (hmm, actually years ago come to think of it) when I started working for BODY WORLDS. I never officially resigned though, so Tuesday I went in to sign the proverbial papers and clean off the proverbial desk.

I met The Mediocre Gatsby my first day there back in 2002, and I've worked directly beside him for over two years. He's the most creative person I know.

That said, the thing I'm going to miss the most is this snack machine. It uses vacuum technology to deliver a delicious treat right to you!

And it accept charge cards to make your gluttonous habits more convenient than ever!

I still had some work to do on my last day, though most of my unfinished business had been taken care of by Liz. I still had approximately 489 e-mails to deal with so that took some time. Finishing the last one yielded a sight I've not seen before.


Finally, at 6:46pm on a rainy November night, it became time to turn in my badge and headset.


Then I experienced one of those montages you're always hearing about.

I took one last look.

And then the credits rolled.

needlessly complicated

They've made it really difficult to get to the restroom at work. Join me on a virtual tour. See things through my eyes for once.

slikk

what, i've got nothing better to do than sit around and update my blog? i'm at work. busy busy busy. today is terrible, i haven't been off the phone in the last three hours. it's outright hellish.

just now a guy got all mad at me for hanging up on him, and i didn't hang up on him at all. he was in mid-sentence and said "ah shit!" then as he was putting the phone down he said "asshole hung up on me." i am not the best customer serviceman in the world. in fact i'm probably in the lower percentile and i'll gladly own any mis-deeds that i actually commit, but i will not stand for being blamed for something i didn't do. if he call back then i will hang up with him just to keep the universe balanced

things are looking up though. it's baseball opening day. i'm DVR-ing the Twins/Angels game and having some gents over for my signature B.-Burgers. do any baseball fans read this blog? The Twins starting lineup is almost completely different from last year. should be interesting. Sports Illustrated has them finishing last in the division. bah to that, i say. over in the NL i'm still firmly on the Rockies bandwagon. also of note is the Bee's home opener in 10 days. exciting.

weekend was sedate. Friday night i went to Freaky Dee's, nothing too exciting, but i did see a guy wearing this coat.

Saturday i hung out with these idiots since it was Sean's last day in town. we went to lunch at Big & Delicious Burgers and then to the zoo.

not a real good day for animal watching since it was cold and all, but it was fun watching Talukan try to enjoy a bottle of frozen lemonade. he took the lid of and tried a few times to get a drink but it didn't work. finally he started ripping the plastic jug from the lemonade block with his teeth, then licked away as though it were a popsicle.

the zoo is trying to pass off this big rubber alligator as the real deal. those fools didn't even paint it the right color!

Sunday i watched season 1 of Twin Peaks. man-oh-man. that's good television. Dale Cooper is one of the best characters there's ever been.

ch ch-ch chhh ch-ch chhh ch-ch chhh

the aftermath

Thanks for the well wishes on the one year blogiversary. It's nice to hear from all of you. At this point I have exactly zero ideas for upcoming blog entries, so I'm just checking in, maybe I'll talk about my job for a little while.

- there's a new girl at work that has nothing to do yet, so I'm pawning some of my work off on her for "training purposes." The problem is that actually finding stuff for her to do and explaining how to do it is a lot more work than just ignoring it.

I mean seriously, what is all this stuff?

- The girl that sits in front of me at work has an impressively loud voice. My ipod at full volume can't even drown it out. Worse, when she's not on the phone with her husband or yelling across the room to another co-worker, she's talking to herself. "I got an e-mail. Oh it's from blah blah blah. They need to send me their..." Yesterday I loudly announced that I was drinking a V8 and read off the ingredients but she didn't catch on.

- Not that it matters one way or another, but I feel you should know that she looks like the Hobbit.

- I don't dislike all my co-workers. For example, one of them just gave me delicious pumpkin bread.

- but check out this e-mail chain:

From: [someone at hotel]

To: [someone in my office]

Good afternoon,
Can you let me know if this is the correct email address where I am sending DOR every day in order to get reimbursed for gift certificates.
Thank you.

then

From: [someone in my office]
To: [me]
Hi Bryton,
Will you please let this property know that they did send this email to the correct email.
Thank you.

Are you serious? So it's easier to send that e-mail to me than just hit reply and type "yes"?

Well I guess that's all.

work

Latin guy on the phone: "An' was your las name?"

B: "Sampson. S-A-M-P-S-O-N."

Guy on Phone "Haha, so do you belong to that family on television?"

B: "Um... not really sure what you're talking about..."

Guy on Phone: "De Simpsons, hahahaha."

B: "Oh, heh heh heh"

Guy on Phone: "It's a Latino joke, you wouldn't get it."



???

work

Attire

Today the corporate bigwigs are in town so I'm wearing a tie. It's a black and grey number that a friend brought me from Florence.

We were urged to look professional today, but I don't look professional at all. I look like the punk-ass manager of a local Walgreens. The guy that says "Breaks are fifteen minutes, Ilene!" The guy that moseys up to the cash register when you're trying to return an ill-fitting pair of flip flops and furiously punches in a series of numbers with one hand and jingles his keys with the other, all the while Ilene standing there helplessly giving you a look that says "It will just be another minute." The guy that has the ends of his hair bleached because he's so cool and casual and it's not like Walgreens is his whole life it's just a job man, but still gives Ilene a firm lecture when she's wearing her nametag in the wrong place.

Yep. I look like that guy.