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Dispatches from Lee and Lisa's wedding! Remember that Tom Hanks movie Bachelor Party? Me neither, but I bet the Wikipedia entry for "bachelor party" is a good read. I'll be right back.

Bachelor parties in the US often entail the mass consumption of alcohol, the hiring of a stripper or prostitute, and general rowdiness toward which the bride might not have a positive reaction.

The task of organizing a bachelor party is often traditionally assigned to a male sibling of the bachelor or to the best man. Otherwise, any (close and/or reputedly party-minded) male friend will organize it.

Me and my friends (or "boys") are nothing if not reputedly party minded, so naturally we went to a Jazz game. Remember the Jazz' old slogan? "Real Fans! Real Players! General Rowdiness!"



I think we were there the same night as the Reese's annual outing.


I hired a bunch of strippers but forgot to buy them tickets. So that was a waste.

Saturday was the wedding luncheon in the opulent and elegant Joseph Smith Memorial Building.


Lee led the crowd in a round of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."


Unfortunately all the attention was just too much for him and he went brain dead.


(actually a baby spat forth upon his necktie. damian saved the day by commandeering a new one).

All these people gathered for a photo but there was no photographer there. It really made me uncomfortable.


Here's the happy couple.

Huh. Looks like there are two happy couples in this picture.

Utah!


On to the reception. At the luncheon Lee introduced me as the "third member of the relationship."


Priya entertained the ladies with her jokes and stories.


But when I tried to talk to her she just looked at me like I was an idiot. She's smart that way.


I hung out with my little buddy Cash though. Haven't seen him in a while. He still likes trucks.


I think having a photo booth at a wedding is a great idea.


Picture vortex.


So yeah. Good couple of days celebrating the wedding. Congratulations, Lee and Lisa!

Also, whose eye is this?




Oh I almost forgot! The movie Taken starring Liam Neeson is a great movie. I mean, it's a pretty crappy movie, but I enjoyed it non-ironically. Suffer no delusions: if you steal Liam Neeson's daughter, he will punch you in the throat.

ungainly

Right now I'm sitting in my favorite sittin' chair, laptop on lap, catching up on the current season of the television series 24. I'm also drinking tea because I woke up without a voice. Not fun. That's never happened to me before. All my dialogue today has been whispered, just like Jack Bauer when he's saying something important.

Well that sets the scene. Duuuuudes my weekend was swell. I mentioned the inversion last time, and it all came to a head on Friday night. I emerged from my subterranean Lair of Underemployment and found the world wrapped in a thick toxic fog. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before. Visibility on the roads was limited to maybe 20 yards. I couldn't believe how dangerous the driving conditions were so I texted everyone I knew about it.



I picked up terrence and went to the Urban Outfittings. There was nothing there for me. Unless you think green and purple plaid flannel would be a good direction to go in...

I did grab a new pair of shoes though, because I've had some recent success with dice games.

Went to Pat's BBQ, a happening little joint in a part of town where one could reasonably expect to witness a murder.


Actually it's just an industrial area full of warehouses and the like, but something about it feels murdery.

Get this. By the time we got to Pat's BBQ they had run out of food? All because of this guy!


Thanks a lot Guy Ferry. Pat's had been featured on his show Blah-Blah, Blah-Blah, and Blah earlier in the week and the place had been filled to capacity since. Well good for them I say. Nice to see a local BBQ place succeed in the face of stiff corporate competition like the McRib. Still. Look at that guy. I feel like he personally ripped a briscuit sandwich out of my hand and shouted "Now that's what I call food. Hey batter batter!"

Michelle was there. She has a reputation being lazy, and it's well earned. Twice this weekend I saw her just sit there and command complete strangers to bring her food! Geez lady.

After dinner (they still had some chicken left) we went to some cursed Frogurt place. Micky (new microsuede character) and I argued about whether a bed should run North-South or East-West. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on that one. Then I tried to prove that I had more Canadian street cred than EmilyA but she won out by being from Canada. Scott, fed up with my needless antagonism, punched me in the face and left an imprint of his skull ring. It's still there. Maybe now I can finally start calling myself the White Aaron Neville.

Wow, this blog entry has really turned into Link City.

Saturday morning I had breakfast with Andy at the Park Cafe. It was very crowded but still had food because Guy Ferry hasn't gotten his bleach stained hands upon it yet. There was a guy there with a t-shirt that had "I would die for what I believe in. Would you?" written on the back. On the front was the Safeway logo. Weird.

Saturday night I went to a soiree over on Woodshire. There are no pictures, but if you're reading this there is a 90% chance that you were there. Good party.

Sunday morning I fell into the sea.

That's actually a crab tank at the Ho Ho Gourmet (the original, not the new). EmilyA had the great idea to go there. I was disappointed at first but then an endless parade of Chinese snacks rolled by and all was well. I must have eaten over a dozen dim-sums as I watched the snow fall outside and delighted my companions with tales of the zoo. I want to make this place a tradition but sometimes you just can't recapture the magic.



After that I braved the snow and went to three different grocery stores, but was only able to find one jar of my Peanut Butter. I don't think my brand is affected by this recall that's going on, but this doesn't bode well. I may have to write another letter.

Then I saw Revolutionary Road.

I was reluctant to see it because movies dealing with suburban ennui tend to irritate me more than not. But this movie isn't quite as hard on suburbia as the trailers would have you believe. It's more of a personal story. I thought it was really good, but at times it was agonizing to watch. A lot of the things dealt with in the film spoke to the same issues that keep me up at night, for better or worse.

Here's the review.

the frogurt is also cursed

Friday. The Avenues. Next to the Haunted Tennis Court. Cold. The facts:

eggnog frozen yogurt = tasty
gorilla costume = neededThe Fall = good movie

I'd say more about The Fall but again Becky has beaten me to the punch. The turnaround time for her blog is much faster than mine.

This, in the stairwell of Becky's apartment:


A dirty magazine, just sitting right on top of the garbage can! When I was 12 I dreamed of finding such a thing. Finally all these years later that wish is fulfilled, and instead of thinking "yes!" and grabbing it (which let's face it, would be gross), all I can think is "well, here's something to mention on the blog."

Saturday, get this. I worked hard. I've made a good life for myself by hardly working, but all last week I was really busting my crackers at the office. And you know? It really felt good. Hahahahaha, no it didn't.

The Punisher: War Zone. The third try at a Punisher movie, and they still can't get it right. I'm baffled at some of the film-makers' choices, including the costume design.

The last time a Punisher movie came out I thought it would be a good date movie. Not really. But I did see it on a date because the gal wanted to hang out and I wasn't all that interested and wanted to see Punisher so why not? Then we ended up dating for like five years. Huh, I thought that would be a better story when I started typing it.

Sunday? More like Extreme Close-ups of Desserts Day.


(apple stuff)


(pecans)

(mint slim shady oatmeal cookies)

(the lazy debutante)

(not sure, and I kind of regret posting that picture now)

(pears)

(becky, with capital)

Everyone is having babies these days, am I right? I met Thandi, the newest member of the Family Gatsby. Look how content she is, all wrapped up in her giraffe blanket.


Hey Thandi, are you excited to meet Uncle Baby Bry?

Nope.

Movie Review: Twilight

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