B's Secret Invasion Part IV (intermission)

Alright, I've been bombarding you this week. I don't even want to know how long it takes this blog to load. Three posts in three days, each with like twenty pictures. Well this one has a lot of pictures too, but it will be the last update until Monday or Tuesday. I'd like to give you time to catch up if you haven't been following this San Diego adventure. Or if you have been reading, feel free to read it again. I hear it's even better the third time.

Faced with the thought of looking through my 400 remaining pictures and choosing a handful for the blog was just too daunting, so today I'm going to show off some of the arts I got. I've touched this topic briefly, but part of the fun of the convention is meeting comic (and other) artists and getting sketches from them. Sometimes it's free, sometimes it costs a little bit, but original art is a cool thing to have. Gotta respect these guys for doing art on their days off from their day job of doing art. Personally, I refuse to provide customer service when I'm not on the clock. I won't even give a quick "how may I help you."

So there's this comic right? It's called Local. It was a twelve issue series following this girl Meg, and in every issue she's in a different city. Before the con I got in touch with Local artist Ryan Kelly (husband of Friend of Microsuede Kat Vapid) and arranged for him to do a picture of Meg in Salt Lake City. I sent him some photos of Trolley Square for reference, and this is the end result:

Click to enlarge (the actual piece is 11X14). It's one of the coolest things I own. This is good enough to be on the cover of one of the issues, but instead it's resting in my lair. My expectations were exceeded.

I got this sketch from the writer of Local, Brian Wood. Took him about two seconds.

This is another one my favorites, from an artist I wasn't previously familiar with named Cameron Stewart. Way nice guy, and I bought his art book and was very impressed. He's maybe best known for drawing Catwoman but I asked him for a sketch of an "original lady."

J. Scott Campbell was a big score the first day because it seemed like he wasn't really doing sketches. I happened to catch him at the right time and got a quick drawing of his character, Abbey Chase. He said "it's going to be a real quick one, okay?" as if I'd complain about this:


Is this boring to anyone out there that doesn't care about comics? Too bad! Start your own blog.

This was a tough one to get, Humberto Ramos. He was always so busy but finally after a few days of trying I got this, Nico Minoru from Runaways.

One of the best series' ever (along with Local) is Alias (no affiliation with Jennifer Garner). It's a good book for non-comic fans. Especially if you like a lot of cursing. Here's the main character of Alias, Jessica Jones, by the series artist Michael Gaydos.

Nobody does curves like Josh Howard. Nobody, you hear me! I had him draw this Rosie the Riveter for me a few months ago, so this time I had him draw another American icon, Betty Page.

Did you guys know that I like The Wire? Well so does Steve Lieber, so I hit him up for a McNulty and an Omar.

And finally, the best sketch of the whole convention.

microsuede for beginners

Today's post is a good jumping on point for new readers. It has almost all of the classic Microsuede staples (cliches), but you won't be confused by all the back-continuity. I think you can pick up the story right from here without having to consult the wikipedia page or go hunting for past entries.

Weekend! A series of happenstances between Emily and Tracy led to a plan to visit Heber City in pursuit of a corn dog. Legend has it that this corn dog is the best corn dog around.

I was excited to go because I've never spent any meaningful time in Heber. Aside from a recent night-time raid I've only ever passed through. It's a nice little burg, a true small town nestled within the Wasatch Moun'ains.


To the right you can see the corner of The Dairy Keen, home of the corn-dog. This apparently is the place to be on a Friday night. It was packed, and there were at least thirty high school kids working behind the counter.

The paging system seemed a little too complicated for a one-dollar corn dog. can't they just yell out "97!"?

When the dog is ready the pager beeps, vibrates, and a robot voice says "Your order is ready. Please return to the counter to pick up your order." Weird. Oh, the dog was pretty good by the way.

Post corn-dog plans involved a stop by the cemetery. I like cemeteries aesthetically, for the stories they can tell, and because they remind me of the circle of life and all that junk. The cemetery in Heber is particularly interesting though.

There's this guy:

I'm a wannabe WWII buff so I was fascinated by this one. I've researched Sgt. Edwards' division, trying to see what steps he took. From what I gather he would have gone from Heber to Camp Barkley Texas, Fort Dix New Jersey, England, Wales, Normandy, and finally back to Heber.

Presuming this guy was in combat, he would have landed on Utah Beach two days after D-Day, and been involved in some pretty fierce battles while trying to retake northwestern France. Again, presuming he was killed in combat, he would have died while the 357th liberated the prefecture of Mayenne. I don't know if this is interesting to anyone but me... I dunno. This twenty-three year old from sleepy Heber City, going halfway around the world and meeting his end to free people he'd never meet, then making the long journey back to Heber. It's something.

While we're talking long journeys, I like this headstone. "Died in this city."

Here's this.

Same stone from the other, spookier side.

Three children from the same family, all under the age of two.

Can you even imagine? My biggest struggle on any given day is deciding where to go to lunch or dealing with the hassle of my wi-fi not working.

[pause for dignified reflection]

Here's someone walkin' around.

At first I was pretty excited that I'd captured a ghost on film, but it turns out it's just Emily. I guess I should have been tipped off by the fact that the ghost was dressed just like Emily.

One more cemetery pic and we're done.

Okay! Time to see what the Heber night life has to offer, starting with a stroll down Main Street.

This is posted in the doorway of a sewing machine store.

Ken's a great guy, willing to accommodate an after hours sewing repair emergency.

Neon. This place carries parts for all cars.

This restaurant saloon is called the Spicy Lady.

It claims to be the oldest building in Heber, and the oldest bar in Utah. It was only refurbished recently though and made into a mostly family friendly affair.

My attempts to hit on the waitresses were unsuccessful.

"Are you a spicy lady? Did they name this place after you, caliente chicadilla?"

The important thing is that they serve kangaroo meat. I was almost going to order it even though it was $22 and I wasn't hungry, but luckily I could get my kangaroo fix in a more economic quesadilla format.

Tastes like marsupial.

Finally we ended up at a place called The Other End. Had there been a piano player he would have stopped playing as soon as we walked in, as every sleeveless shirted cowboy hatted head turned to glare at us. Not my usual scene, but it was a friendly enough place. At one point I found myself alone on the patio (not uncommon at bars/restaurant/social functions) breathing the fresh country air and looking up at the big orange moon (likely a product of the California wild-fires). Just over yonder a bull was grazing. It was nice.

I didn't take too many pictures as it didn't seem like a picture takin' kind of place, but I had to get my neon.

And that's that. So long Heber.

Nothing happened on Saturday that can be considered more noteworthy than this.

A long time ago someone thought that mixing clam juice and tomato juice would be a good idea. Then someone else thought that mixing this clamato with beer would be a good idea. Guess what? It's not. In fact it might be the worst idea anyone has ever had. I took a swig and reflexively spit it out. Yich.

Unlike Budmato, there's one thing that's always a good idea. Watching the Wire. Here's a B's eye view of that affair.

Sunday was the boringest day ever, the end.

don't matter how many times you get burnt, you just keep doin' the same

I have significantly upped my street cred by purchasing a du-rag. It's pretty great.

Now I look just like Bodie from The Wire. See?


What do you mean I look like an idiot? Are you saying Bodie looks like an idiot? I don't see why you're having such a hard time comparing me to a tough streetwise African-American drug dealer. Look again. We have similar headwear!

Mikey says I look like an unemployed pornstar. I don't see it.


Ah hell, who am I kidding. I don't even look like an unemployed pornstar. I look like Elektra.


Even the cat knows it's silly.

when you walk through the garden

alright i'm back and i'm reinvigorated. you may notice that i've given up on using capital letters. i feel so free. i've also given up on using a wallet and i just carry around a wad of crisp hundreds and a state-issued identification card. and twelve credit cards. and my insurance card in case i get stabbed in the head in an unfamiliar city.

speaking of unfamiliar cities, i have a pending adventure in about three weeks. i'm really excited for it and you'll read about it after it happens.

today i got a haircut at the same place i wrote about a few weeks ago. outstanding haircut. that guy really knows his business, despite his eccentricities. when i showed up he was painting "haircuts $9.00" on the side of his building. when he finished he said "that's seven dollars. i'm painting nine on the building but it's only seven."

so, weekend. really good one. i've found that a really great weekend doesn't always translate into a really great blog. tales of misery and woe work better in this medium than a series of "you had to be there" moments. but we'll try it.

friday night i hung out with Emily and a couple of friends i've not seen in a while. i was in a rare mood. i was eager to throw down. it was a beautiful spring night in SLC and i wante to make the scene.

(note that SLC is capitalized above. proper names and acronyms will still be capitalized)

a few ideas were bandied about and we decided on dinner at Red Rock. i had a tasty sandwich.

then this happened




then we went to the Tavernacle (it's a play on words). this bar has a lot going for it. good location, non-smoking, rowdy crowds. the bar features "dueling pianos," but they take turns so a more apt name would be "alternating pianos." really fun place but i don't think you'd make a habit of going there. maybe you would if you were an alcoholic and lived nearby.

now we'll talk about drinking for a while. a had a couple swallows of champagne on New Year's Eve but i haven't had a drop since then. i wasn't some kind of crazy party man before, but i just wanted to examine my motivations a bit. like say, i'd go to dinner and just automatically order a beer, even if i didn't really want it. that's not a habit i want. i also wanted to prove that i could have fun without drinking, should i someday find myself in a circumstance where drinking is discouraged.

i went 77 days before finally breaking the streak on St. Patrick's day. i didn't want to be beholden to some streak anyway.

so yeah, Tavernacle. i drank Jameson's that night because that's what McNulty drinks on The Wire (and you thought i was done talking about The Wire!)

a few years ago i was with Emily and she ordered a Jameson's and i accidentally ordered something pink with a lime in it. i felt like a real tool.

this girl insisted on dancing on the pianos all night. the bouncers would drag her down and she'd act all indignant and give them the double bird, only to get right back up there. oh, by "dancing" i mean "bobbing up and down slightly"

then this clod got in on the action.

here's Mr. Afterthought Ponytail staring at my friend.

at one point something drew me outside...

mmmmmmmm.

anyway, fun night. one of the funnest. and the important thing is that i didn't call or text anyone. right...?

there's a lot more i could say but it just wouldn't convey anything. hey here's the thing about drunken stories: they suck. "i was already like, smashed, and then Ricky gave me a bottle of Marimbara and i swear i drank like half of it. i was all 'where's the mayor? get the mayor on the phone!' and then Ricky was all "har-ti-tar-ti-tar-ti-tar.'" i guess i just don't like glorified idiocy. my stories are good though, maybe i'll tell some more later. i think mine are more self-deprecating than glorifying.

oh! i almost forgot. somehow an empty shotglass made it's way into my pocket. it is now front and center in my vast paraphenelia/ephemera collection. that's how fun Friday night was.

Saturday i was going to go to a show but didn't make it. so instead we'll substitute this show that i went to last Wednesday. the band was called Say Hi, formerly knows as Say Hi to Your Mom. i'd never heard them before but Lee and Lisa convinced me to come along and i'm glad they did.

hey, sample a song why you don't? Say Hi - Let's Talk About Spaceships.

Northwestern Girls

the show was at Kilby Court which was nice because it allowed me to add to my collection of interesting bathroom pictures.


Sunday i slept too long. also Happy Easter. is there anything better than a spring night in the SL Valley? Besides an autumn night?