of plumbers and politicians

Did you see the final Presidential debate? McCain would not shut up about that Plumber guy. He thinks that the Plumber represents the average American, but it just shows that he's still 8-Bit in a 360 world.

And yes, yes, Mario is a great man. A true American hero. Nevertheless, King Koopa never posed a direct threat to the United States. And his so-called "Weapons of Mass Destruction" were nothing more than bullets with large biceps and plants that spit tiny slow-moving fireballs.

Then you've got Mario's running mate, who poses herself as the spokeswoman for Joe Toadstool, even though she's extremely wealthy. Go ahead and ask her how many castles she has. I bet she doesn't even know.

veep

What's the difference between a Hockey Mom and a Pit Bull?




Better party guests.

continuing coverage of the 2008 election

It’s morning again in America. Saturday morning. I have a lot of e-mails in my inbox, so that should help me pass the day. My Aunt Liz sends me forwards from time to time (every 7-8 minutes) and I’ve come to rely on them to help me stay safe in this dangerous world. I recently got this one about Senator Obama and I was going to delete it since I felt sufficiently informed after watching the RNC, but I’m glad I didn’t because it was very eye opening. I’m going to post it here instead of forwarding it seeing as most of my contacts have my e-mails sent straight to their spam box.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>these
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>are
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>very
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>scary times
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>for America!


This is the most important e mail you will ever read. The election of 2008 will decide whether the United States of America will continue to flourish or if it will be completely destroyed from within. Barack USAIN Obama wants you to believe that he’s right for this great country, but who is he really?

Who is Barack Obama?

Barack USAIN Obama was born to Barack Usain Obama Sr., a BLACK sprinter from Kingston, Jamaica, and Ann Dunham, a white Epicurian from Wichita, Kansas. At the time Kansas had not yet been admitted to statehood, so despite what his handlers want you to believe, Barack is NOT a natural born American citizen. Ann and Barack Sr. moved to Hawaii shortly after Barack Jr. was born in the hope that one day they could dupe the good hard-working people of America into thinking he was a REAL American and electing him President.

Barack’s parents divorced when he was two years old and his mother immediately married Dr. Prince Big Herman, a RADICAL Jamaican Rastafarian who was neither a doctor nor a prince nor very big. The family relocated to Jamaica and Barack attended a Rasta “school.” The term school is used loosely and Tom Ridge of the Department of Homeland Security has called such schools “training ground for terrorists.” At this school Barack was required to spend four hours a day studying irie riddims and pledging to destroy the polytricksters of Babylon.

Barack’s mother, sensing her son’s political ambitions, enrolled young Barack in a Catholic school so he could someday meet the constitutional requirement that all US Presidents be Christian. Guess she thought she could fool the good hard-working American people! Well we’re not fooled. In fact during his years at Catholic school Barack was suspended seven times for various offenses including looking up girls’ skirts, snapping his gum, smoking in the boys room, and carrying a switchblade. Yeah, he’s a real good Christian [eye-roll].

Such a “good” “Christian” that when sworn-in to the Senate he REFUSED to take his Oath of Office on the Bible, placing his hand instead on a copy of Legend – The Best of Bob Marley.

Clearly his claims of being Christian are false, but what about his claims of loving America? Mr Obama, if you love America so much why do you REFUSE to place your hand over your heart when you hear the Andy Griffith theme? Why do you wear your American flag lapel pin upside down? Why do you raise a black-gloved fist into the air instead of reciting the Pledge of Allegiance? Why do you support legislation to disband America’s military? Why do you want to make Spanglish our official language? Why do you drink Heineken?

Voters of America, remain vigilant! This man is nothing more than a con-man, a regular glim-dropper! If he’s elected President he’ll be the LAST President this great country ever has! Think about THAT on voting day!!! Please forward this to everyone you know.

Obama/McCain - eerie coincidences

Hey y'all. I'll get to part II of the Denver trip later. I'm having a hard time paring down the photos. In the meantime, let's talk politics. Surely you've seen the list of Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy coincidences. In fact according to a 2002 study performed by the Google Records Project, the Lincoln/Kennedy thing was the first e-mail forward ever sent. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, here's a sampling:

-Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theatre. Kennedy was shot in a Ford car; a Lincoln limousine.
-Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy who told him not to go to the theatre. Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln who warned him not to go to Dallas.
-Both Oswald and Booth were assassinated before they could be put on trial.
-Lincoln and Kennedy each have 7 letters.

etc. etc.

I recently discovered several other remarkable coincidences between our current presidential candidates, John McCain and Barack Obama. Behold.

-John McCain and Barack Obama are both U.S. Senators.

-Both were elected to the Senate in even numbered years.

-There are 11 letters in Barack Obama and John S. McCain.

-Both of their birthplaces have four vowels and four consonants: Coco Solo and Hono Lulu.

-Their running mates both have names ending in the letter N.

-18% of Americans falsely believe that Obama is Muslim; 18% of Americans falsely believe that McCain is the guy from Die Hard

-Obama announced his bid for the Presidency in Springfield, Illinois; McCain has spent years trying to figure out what state The Simpsons live in.

-Obama introduced the Iraq War De-Escalation Act of 2007; McCain is afraid of escalators.

-McCain's senate career began after he defeated his opponent, Richard Kimble; Obama has seen The Fugitive 27 times.

-McCain's nickname on his high school wrestling team was "McNasty"; Obama's nickname on his high school basketball team was "O'Nasty."

-McCain's favorite television show is Seinfeld; Obama opens all his stump speeches with the phrase "What is the deal with the current administration?"

-Obama denounces Special Interests; McCain has no hobbies.

-As a POW, McCain gave the names of the Green Bay Packer's offensive line when pushed to give the names of his squadron members; Obama was briefly considered as a replacement for Brett Favre.

-In 1974 McCain became Commanding Officer of the largest attack squadron in the Navy; Obama has never been defeated at Battleship.

The Mail

New Mailboxes Look Like Star Wars Character
March 16th, 2007 @ 6:52am
(KSL News) You may be surprised by the sight of some new mailboxes around the valley. That's because they look like a favorite Star Wars character R2-D2.

The U.S. Postal Service and Lucas Films have joined forces to promote a new stamp to be announced March 28th. About 400 mailboxes in 200 cities will be covered to look like the lovable droid.

The Post Office's chief marketing officer says, "When you look at a mailbox, the resemblance to R2-D2 is too good to pass up."

I like that last line. So you're driving around, maybe listening to the Diane Rehm show, sipping a Dr. Pepper, and then you see R2-D2 standing on the sidewalk. You think "Wowie wow wow wow!!! Sure, online bill pay is convenient, and I only communicate with my friends and family via text messages, but come on, it's R2-D2. I'm gonna write me some letters. Maybe subscribe to a few magazines while I'm at it."

I really wish I would have had the opportunity to hear the newscaster say the phrase "lovable droid."